I live in a hugely multicultural city. My class is a United Nations of students. Most are from East or South-East Asia. There's increasing numbers from Central and South America and usually a few Eastern Europeans. I teach communication. There's no place in the curriculum for topics such as body language, and its subtopic personal space, but I think I'll give them this in their readings. This thoughtful, entertaining article claims that there are different cultural practices related to personal space. Also, it seems we're so self-protective, it often comes across as thoughtless and unkind. While the author voluntarily makes space for others on a crowded train, I've noticed that in Canada, we often have to ask someone to move their knapsack or parcels off of a seat. The item is moved unwillingly as the passenger hopes you'll find some other seat rather than ask for the parcel to be moved. Hubski - have you noticed this in your city?If there was room to adjust, move my bottom back or forward, or sideways, I made space for another person. In such close quarters, I had to learn to love the human touch in order not to hate it.
Perhaps one difference between east and west is that we have never learned to love it. We, too, are squeezed into streetcars and subways, especially during rush hours. There are long line-ups in post offices and cinema washrooms -- but not all the time. We don't make a virtue of necessity.I find Americans very friendly, but the unsaid rule of personal space never lets you get close to people, even when they are your friends. There is an invisible circle around a person, which seems impenetrable.
I imagine people will disagree with this statement. I imagine, too, there is a double meaning in his use of the word "close." I wonder, when it comes to friends, if there is a correlation between physical and emotional closeness. I suspect that there probably is.
I think he said that to try and make a point, but if that he sat down and thought about it he'd realize that in America there are a lot of qualifiers as to when and how people can touch each other. Like a lot of things in our lives, context is very much key.I imagine people will disagree with this statement.
We increasingly live in a very hands-off society in the U.S. If a person were to put their hand on the shoulder of a colleague at work to say, "great work," it could be misconstrued as inappropriate. Therefore, for liability purposes, we are being coached by the organizations we represent in our work lives to not use the innate gestures that indicate closeness and intimacy. We are throwing out the baby with the bath water, so to speak.
Indeed. We're hesitant to do a lot of things these days because people are so quick to accuse others of inappropriate behavior. Even though, context is still a thing. Unless there was a situation that directly called for it, I'd never hug a coworker, however I wouldn't hesitate to hug a friend if that's what they were expecting from me. At the same time, the type of hug I'd give to my friend would be different from the type of hug I'd give my wife. In all those situations still, there's even more context. When, where, and why all dictates how and how long I'd hug someone. We're a very nuanced society with a lot rules, both spoken and un.