Yes, this is where English gets really hard (or any language for that matter). It takes a great deal of self-awareness and personal humility to master a language, because often we have to make mistakes on our own. In our first language, we have the luxury of being children and of being surrounded by people who will guide us to speaking that language "properly". As adults, we are expected to be much more capable and fairly or unfairly, that puts adult language learners in an awkward position.

All of that said, the more you engage with native speakers, the more you can start to notice patterns and connections. You absolutely did the right thing by letting people know that English isn't your first language. In my classes, I absolutely encourage students to engage in discourse and argument, but also to qualify their statements with things like, "In Spanish, this word has a negative connotation and that's not what I mean to express, but I don't have the language to say exactly what I want to, in English. The idea is like . . . " and again, that takes a lot of humility and strength to do.

Anyway, you express yourself pretty well. I agree whole-heartedly that native speakers do not know as much about grammar as English language learners do. At the end of the day though, language is one facet of good communication skills. Establishing rapport and engaging with others is really what the site is all about.