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comment by user-inactivated
user-inactivated  ·  3585 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: How do you grieve when you lose an internet friend?

Different kind of grief, because it's tinged (in my experience) with a certain weirdness. Not a "why am I grieving?" but rather a "what exactly am I grieving for?" ... because my online friends, including the one or two who've died, were just conversations to me. People yes but represented by text. It's weird grieving for text.

And I've had semi-close online friends die but also super-close online friends vanish into the ether without a comment^. The latter is worse, because it leaves questions.

^these would be indistinguishable, I suppose, except that in the former case one receives confirmation.

EDIT: great question.





user-inactivated  ·  3585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Also, if I died, you guys would grieve (give me the benefit here thanks) for a completely different person than my parents would. It's partially the nature of the medium and partially how I express myself.

_refugee_  ·  3585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

If I died, the person my parents grieved for would be a different person than the one my friends grieved for, and even then, it would vary between friends. We are all different people to different people.

user-inactivated  ·  3585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yes yes.

I'm also unsure of what constitutes an "internet friend." Does that mean when we totally have the inevitable Hubski Meet-Up in Colorado, you guys won't be internet friends to me anymore? That's all it takes?

A couple years ago I remember a girl that I knew on a hella obscure Earthbound forum met a guy on tumblr. They got super close, met in "real life", and now they're engaged, I'm pretty sure. At what point did they stop being "internet friends"? They skyped and played games together and everything. Are they still just "conversations" to each other at that point?

Also, since I'm still butt-hurt about it - if you think grieving for online friends feels weird, but you liked the movie Her, your opinion means nothing to me.

lil  ·  3585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

How would we even know? Would you leave a note saying -

  "Could someone make sure to invite Hubski to the funeral/wake/cremation/burning of my thesis?"
user-inactivated  ·  3585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Sounds like we need to modify the warrant canary. If I don't put an acerbic comment on hubski at least once per month, I am hubskilegally dead.

lil  ·  3585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

or maybe you're happy and content which might be kind of the same as being dead.

user-inactivated  ·  3585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Ew yeah never.

_refugee_  ·  3585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

That's the question I've wondered, myself. I think that depending on the interaction level you have with users, your silence at some point would be noticed and people would wonder. For those of us who are facebook friends or on Twitter, we might find out that way.

Cumol  ·  3585 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Attach a sensor to your chest. The moment your heartbeat stops for more than 5 seconds, IFTTT will send out a message to all your social networks with the message of your death.