Presenting: 8bit's Gauntlet of Craziness: If Only HIs Life Were This Interesting Even 1/4 of the Time!

That time I ALMOST MET ROBIN WILLIAMS, FUCK.

This is a short one. He was in Boulder for a show. I was at work when I got a call from my sister, who was with my family shopping at Pearl Street.

"Robin Williams was in the store just now!"

"Woah, what!? Did you get a picture with him and stuff?"

"...No...we didn't realize he was there the whole time we were at the store until he was already gone."

"..."

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That time I found myself at the top floor of a skyscraper-party with a bunch of Saudi Royalty.

I used to go to the American International School of Riyadh.

"Woah 8bit, that sounds so interesting and different, I bet it was cool!"

Fucking. NO.

AISR was an absolute hell and Riyadh did nothing to help. It was ridiculously hot, I wasn't allowed to wear shorts, movie theaters are banned, women aren't allowed to drive. Beyond that, private schools and I don't mix. Literally the only positive note is that I literally melted all my baby fat at the school gym there.

SPEAKING OF.

The kids that went there were all ridiculously rich in comparison to my scholarship butt. Many of them were royalty, nephews and nieces and cousins of the King of Saudi. The rest were all children of CEOs, etc. These fuckers would fly to India on weekends and I wish I was making that shit up. A lot (most) of them were there for bragging rights that the parents could have at dinner parties. The teachers there were looking for a paycheck and not much else, and that reflected in their teaching style.

So anyways, I was invited by said royalty to a party at the top floor of a mall there. They found my quiet sarcasm cute, I think. They also didn't know I knew Arabic, which I used to my advantage to hear what they really thought of me. I'm like "sure why not, more interesting than literally anything else in this country."

Hit up the party. It had two bouncers at the front door.

What. The. Fu-

There is no crazy like real, repressed crazy. I know I talked about a party I went to here, but in all honestly, the one in Saudi trumps it in debauchery. I didn't count it because I was barely there before I left. In three words: Alcohol. Fountains. Everywhere.

I left the school a little afterwards. That shit was cray, to sum it up.

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That time I survived Digital Arts (might have told this one) and played tag in our high school at 12 AM.

There were six of us in Digital Arts. It was a cluster of stupidity. Our teacher was ridiculous. He didn't teach us a single thing. I self taught myself through two years of that class. We still talk about him to this day. We had an exam for DA that requires us to hold an exhibit for an examiner that flies in from Switzerland to check out our work. It was April-ish, and we all thought the exam would be three weeks after Spring Break. Which is what our teacher told us. "Take a break guys, you've been working hard!" No sweat, I can dig that. So I go to Disneyland and chill and it's awesome.

Come back from Spring Break. Teacher walks into the classroom.

"So, remember when I said the exam was three weeks from now? It's actually next week."

Fucking. WHAAAAAAAA-

So we have one week to make up three to four projects. Render said projects. Print them out, fix mistakes, then PRINT THEM AGAIN.

Well there was only one thing to it. A 48 hour marathon between the six of us at our highschool to churn this shit out.

I...honestly don't remember much from those 48 hours. I showered in our school gym's lockerroom and my mom brought everyone Chipotle, which is cool. There was a lot of giggling. Our teacher left us there at the 10 PM mark of the first day because, and I quote, "I have a wife and kids to go home to!", so we raided his candy drawer for the Freshmen and Sophomores. When we took breaks we watched Gurren Lagann and played tag in the school. It was hella dark, the emergency lights were the only things on, and a couple of sections were locked off. I distinctly remember running into a locker.

Good fun. We're all very close friends now. And we all passed! Wooh.

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That time I got into a fight.

Alright, THIS little bitch in my highschool apparently thought I was trying to flirt with the girl he was dating. I'm not even going to try and explain that one. If you've read things I've written on this site, you will know that this will never happen in a million years. Cornered me on a staircase when the security guard wasn't looking, threatening me and trying to get me to fight him. I guess I should amend an 'almost' to that sentence, though. Because like shit I was gonna fight anybody over a girl I barely know, I've got better shit to do. Weirdo. Yeah, no. Anyways he backed off for whatever reason. The kid that was with me at the time told me I looked really bored, which I guess I was, and that probably threw him off. And that same kid decided to report it and the prick got a week's suspension. No effort, all reward. Cool.

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Bonus Story! 8bit, do you even people?

The hot girl from my 11th Grade Philosophy Class: "Hey 8bit, I need some help with my homework, do you mind coming over?"

Ugh Jesus, do I have to? Fiiiine.

Show up at hot girl's house. Completely empty. "Hey, my dad's at work and my mom's on a business trip, so the house is completely empty right now.

Uh, okay, why the hell does this even matter to me. "Okay, so where's the homework? You're straight up just lying on the couch, I thought you needed help."

"I know, but I thought we could just, you know...talk first."

"...Sure. How we talk about the Philosophy homework that you needed help with so badly?"

And that I helped that hot girl with her Philosophy homework so hard, she probably couldn't even sleep afterwards. You know how I do.

I try to forget that last one, but I like you, Hubski.