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comment by lil
lil  ·  3644 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Essential Tremor by Elizabeth Metzger

    dissonant, harsh lines
being dumped is harsh. being loved less is harsh.




bristolstreet  ·  3644 days ago  ·  link  ·  

For sure. I was talking more about how it scanned/sounded when read aloud. But composition and meaning interact, as always.

lil  ·  3644 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I understand what you were looking for. You got me reading for hard consonant sounds like "death" "dice" and "dumbed down."

Are you a poet?

bristolstreet  ·  3644 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I guess I would say I dabble. I have been published once a couple of years ago in a national YA lit mag, and I've taken a class in university, but I feel like I am much better at appreciating than creating most of the time. Are you a poet? :)

lil  ·  3644 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I sometimes write things for hubski under the tag #todayswritingprompt. The real poets on this site include _refugee_, humanodon, rezzeJ. thenewgreen has amazing song lyrics and even flagamuffin has impressed me over the months with a verse or two.

user-inactivated  ·  3643 days ago  ·  link  ·  

EVEN LIL OL' FLAGAMUFFIN

lil  ·  3643 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The capital letters suggest that you are imbibing as you finish writing up your research. I forget what your usual Saturday night drink is. You've been known to linger in Motels in states that are not Texas.

user-inactivated  ·  3643 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Working and quite guzzling But the state of the economy to come

Is dark scary and puzzling When I'm drunk on kahlua and rum

Come on lil - you know me well Certainly you've got it right

Would indeed be a cold day in hell Ere I was sober on a Saturday night

yeesh

_refugee_  ·  3643 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Here is my funny short low-effort poem of the day:

Challenge

  Show me a single
  literary magazine
  without a cigarette in it 
I shall shelve it for my short clever poems book along with my brunch poems.
thenewgreen  ·  3643 days ago  ·  link  ·  

A cold day indeed!

This reminds me of Ogden Nash. I keep one of his poems in my pocket to use at parties and events to seem clever. Here it is:

  There is something about a martini 
  Ere the dining and dancing begin
  And to tell you the truth
  It's not the vermouth
  I think that perhaps it's the gin
Boooya!

That's right, I said "booya" after an Ogden Nash poem. There is a first time for everything.

thenewgreen  ·  3643 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Hey, at least you are a poet, I'm just some lyricist.

user-inactivated  ·  3643 days ago  ·  link  ·  

check my most recent effort I think I may have to throw in the towel

thenewgreen  ·  3643 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Are you a poet? :)

Yes she is.

We have a pretty healthy appreciation for poetry around these parts. I have been fortunate to cultivate some nice friendships with the poets lil mentions in her response. I've actually been very fortunate to have been gifted some of humanodon's writings to use as lyrics. The most recent incarnation is here. -It's a collaborative music project on Hubski.

More creatives are MOST WELCOME here. dabble away my friend!