"I am not going to bother speaking to you, because I consider you stupid and out of touch" is not a strong point. Nor is "I am sick of discussing this".
What about, "I have to deal with daily racial discrimination, and today, on top of that, you are challenging my feelings that arise not only from a specific incident of pronounced racial tension but are compounded by that daily racial discrimination as well, and yet again someone who doesn't experience what I do (and may or may not even believe my experiences) is asking me to justify my emotions on the topic, and today it's just too fucking much?" Or is that just "I'm sick of discussing this" ? Because the thing is, it's not black people's jobs to stop everything, sit down, and explain their daily experience to you just because you ask. Because you are privileged enough that you have to ask instead of know. Yes, it's great to try and have open communication about race with people who actually regularly experience racial injustice, but especially on an emotionally heightened day and event like this, maybe asking them to justify their feelings (that have already been through the wringer) might feel like a little bit too much. If a guy I'd had a really tormented relationship with and I had just broken up, and someone then asked me to justify being upset with a seemingly unsympathetic view, yeah, I'd nope out of that situation as well, or I'd end up in tears, or ticked off. It's reasonable sometimes to decide that a certain type of discussion is just too much at a given time.
I do not care about your feelings when you are making a decision that should not be decided by them in any sane scenario. I am not asking for justification. I am stating that you should never be making decisions beforehand on a topic such as this. I didn't. And, yet again, the idea of privilege has been twisted and shifted from a concept that is about understanding and trying to put yourself in anothers shoes into one that is about silencing and putting people down. The whole fucking point of the concept is that we should listen to and attempt to understand others experiences so we don't end up judging actions that don't make sense from our own contexts and biases. Not "You have it good, you should shut up and appreciate life". I am not, and did not ask for a justification of any feelings. But you would go out of your way to post a topic about your breakup on a website? One that "prides" itself on the idea of "thoughtful discussion" at that? Either way, I wasn't asking for a justification of feelings. I was stating that feelings are not a justification to make up your mind on something before looking at the situation from a less biased point of view.Because the thing is, it's not black people's jobs to stop everything, sit down, and explain their daily experience to you just because you ask.
Because you are privileged enough that you have to ask instead of know.
maybe asking them to justify their feelings
If a guy I'd had a really tormented relationship with and I had just broken up, and someone then asked me to justify being upset with a seemingly unsympathetic view, yeah, I'd nope out of that situation as well,