This is actually really good news to me! And a good time to mention it because I wanted to start a thread about something like this. I, and to a similar degree my honey arguewithatree, have been moving away from people more as time goes on. I've especially been doing this on social networks. I truly despise facebook and, while I have it and generally check it daily, I rarely use the service, while she is generally more involved with people online. We were talking the other day about how many friends we'll have when we're older, and that she's worried about not having as many as we are less and less willing to hang out with people just to hang out with people. I don't really have a problem having a very small group of friends that I talk to sparingly. My closest friends are more or less the same. My best friend in the entire world, jackdanielswife (who, while having an account here, has never used it grumble grumble) and I very rarely talk, but it doesn't mean we aren't just as close. For a long time, I still frequently talked to people online, but I've been pulling away from even that. I just don't see the point of talking anymore unless the person is physically with me, mostly. I don't have any qualms with the thought of living far, far away from people, but I still care tons about my friends! I see everything y'all post here, and those of you that I'm friends with on facebook I see all your stuff just as much! Like your meal vines, and cat snaps, and poems on kenning, and your (and insom's) halloween costumes. I just... connect less and less.
I think, honestly, it's a part of growing up - much as I hate to use that term. If it weren't for things like Snapchat and such...Well, let's just say that once in high school I forgot to talk to a friend for so long he thought I was ignoring him. With my friends I can be very "out of sight, out of mind." Doesn't mean I'm not close with them, but it takes more conscious effort on my part to think of and involve my friends than I guess is typical. The plus side of hanging out with friends less (and as you may remember I do tend to "go out" pretty often) is that you have more time to develop your own interests and hobbies. I think that's valuable. As people age they develop things that cause them to be free less, and as all your friends develop more of those commitments (like significant other, family, houses, etc), it means that even if you're free, they might not be. So you get more spare time to yourself, and I think people start to develop the habit of seeing spare time and using it for themselves as opposed to immediately reaching out all the time. I don't know, it's crackpot wisdom from a 25-year-old. Might be talking out my ass. But I agree with you: just because I don't talk to someone doesn't mean I am not close with them. I'm also a completely terrible pen-paller and email-er. Lack of physical proximity diminishes the urgency to keep conversation going. Unless, like I said, it's going on right there in my hand and I can get back to it quickly.
interestingly, here's my map. the top left corner is my sorority + college friends, top right corner is friends from high school, bottom right is jews i met in Israel, bottom left is jews i met at jew camp. outliers are coworkers for the most part. the most assimilated people are my jewish friends i've known my whole life and my people who either went to jew camp with me or lived in my hometown and who then went to college with me (actually a significant cluster seeing as we all moved 2000 miles away for school), then my mom cuz shes's a social butterfly. @meriadoc@ is more well integrated in this one than ref's tho that said, it's kind of inaccurate re: centrality. i was expecting more hits for people i interact with more, but that's a skewed dynamic as well