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Hm. So I clicked this and it copied your text a bunch of times instead of just once. Weird. True, all my relationships have been a result of some completely off-chance encounter where things just fell forward from there, so any real work is well...work. I met a lot at house shows in the area, and through other people. Edit: I should clarify that my "time and effort" comment is directly related to what ref is talking about when she describes it as being a proscribed process.