Calling it a “major-ass haul” that would provide “some much-needed scratch,” Vice President Joe Biden reportedly scored over 800 feet of copper wire from a foreclosed home in the D.C. suburbs, White House sources confirmed Thursday.
I've never read an Onion article about Biden or Kerry that didn't cheer me up and make me laugh.“At this point, I’m just looking for a dealer who won’t dick me over,” Biden added. “It’s tough finding a trustworthy metal theft ring. Some of the guys in this biz can be real pieces of shit.”
It just keeps getting better.Sources confirmed that until Biden can determine a more viable course of action, the vice president plans to stow his latest copper score in a rented storage unit outside Bethesda, which also houses his collection of vintage stag films and tanto knives.
"Blaze can no longer be trusted. From now on, Joe flips coil solo."