It sucks to fail. I gave one of my alcoholic clients the best I was capable of, but I failed. I shouldn't take the blame on myself; I understand that alcoholism is a disease that doesn't have a cut and dry cure. Masochism drives me.

Over the past 8 months I set him up with 2 counselors for free, held several substance abuse groups with third party drug and alcohol counselors, and didn't force him to attend Alcoholics Anonymous because he has serious issues with that program. I increased his money and got him a Section 8 voucher, for which I took him around to different apartments for weeks. I got a bike donated to him and a new computer donated to put into the house he was in. I reconnected him with his brother and got him talking with his dad again. I set him up with job interviews.

None of it was enough. He went through periods of abstinence, of quitting cigarettes and marijuana, of feeling motivated and optimistic. But he always came back to alcohol. He wouldn't address his spending habits, and half of his paycheck went into overdraft fees the first of the month. He wouldn't search for apartments on his own, only when I did the leg work, and I didn't have the time to do that for him every day. Even if I did, he didn't have money for apartment applications. He never went to the job interviews I got him. There were a lot of other things as well.

So I gave him his notice and kicked him out yesterday. There are many others who are homeless and willing and able to get back on their feet, but this guy clearly wasn't capable of it. He threatened my life, called the police on me for some reason, got into an argument with a few other guys, broke some of his stuff, and is sleeping on a park bench.

But he attended the DUI class he'd been procrastinating for years last night. So there is a glimmer of hope. Maybe me kicking him out will be the best thing I've done for him so far, or the thing that makes everything else click. Or maybe I'm just making myself feel better.