As soon as I finish enacting gun control and curing malaria
Fight malaria and teach history? Where do I sign up? You're making me want to help Bill Gates. As a Linux weenie, I'm torn. As a tech support person with many years of Windows repair experience, I'm not.
You've missed out then. Don't worry, I can bring you back to the Microsoft fold with their greatest product of all time - Songsmith!
Terrible?! Clearly you've never heard Van Halen transformed into smooth lounge music!
...I don't even understand how this could happen. A few bad notes, sure, but this? Did someone tune Eddie's guitar up a half step?
There's a lot of controversy about it. It's all bullshit, though. What happened is the backing keys are on DAT. That DAT is probably a Tascam DA-30MkII. or Panasonic SV-3700. Both of them have a tiny, unguarded, easy-to-bump-by-accident switch that switches from 44.1 to 48kHz. The keys were recorded at 44.1. The switch got bumped. The keys play back at 48. Now one part of the song is three and a half semi-tones sharp - if "Jump" is in A, Eddie now has to play it in Bflat and a half. So what you're hearing is Eddie going WTFKEYISTHIS?????? and trying to play up a note and then using the whammy to bend it into place. Meanwhile he's running around shouting at his guitar tech to fucking tune him an axe into whatever unholy key they happen to be playing. All the while the rest of the band are soldiering on - David is singing to the keys, Alex don't care and the bass is notably off. Good on 'em for trying because sweet jesus, they're in a pickle.
Wow, no joke. I find it hard to believe too. This is a song he's played at least 1000 times. For the record, David Lee Roth sounded great for an old fart and he still has a few of his old Jedi stage moves. That half assed "jump" by E.VH was weak.