I haven't at any point felt that Halevi's rhyme scheme is intrusive. The translation I've been reading is by Levin and, assuming you're from the US, is purchaseable: http://www.amazon.com/Poems-Diwan-Poetica-Yehuda-Halevi/dp/0856463337/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1407346366&sr=8-1&keywords=levin+diwan Can I ask if you had any particular motivation for reading Hafiz or did you just pick him up?
Thanks for the translation rec, I wouldn't be surprised if my problems with the rhyme scheme were an issue with the translator, not Halevi. I actually first heard some of the poetry from The Gift at a summer camp I went to a couple years back, one of the counselors read it to us every once in a while and I really enjoyed it. Finally a few weeks ago I remembered to ask her who the translator was and picked up my own copy.