I have played Bioshock Infinite. It went something like this:

- whoa. Nice graphics.

- okay, it's not actually an open world, there are just a few things I have to trip over before the story will advance.

- this is an interesting place but not at all interactive.

- what a truly implausible yet entertaining-looking level.

- huh. I'd sure like to check all that stuff out but apparently that's not a possibility.

- yes, arrow, I know you want me to go over there.

- A ha. pointless, needless racism. How offensive. Oh, I see. I'm supposed to be offended.

- why no, game, I don't want to start a fight in a crowd full of racists. Not ten minutes ago you told me to keep a low profile, remember? Considering how few instructions you gave me, I assume that one was important.

- Oh, I see. If I don't start a violent, knock-down, drag-out brawl right here the game is effectively over.

- wow. There's some troma-grade gore up in here.

- huh. doesn't seem to matter where I shoot.

- and dying does not appear to be a major setback, just majorly gory.

- Dude. This is like Doom with better graphics and worse logic. Is the whole game like this?

- The whole game is like this. I'm out, bitchez. Peace.

Great article. Spot on criticism. There have been a lot of disappointing games crossing my platforms; it saddens me that this much money can be spent on this much entertainment and still none of it is very good. The fact that Lara Croft remains the gold standard for women in gaming sucks. At least Samus curled into a ball.