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comment by nowaypablo
nowaypablo  ·  3796 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Does keeping your mouth shut make you weak?

Hm,

    If you are keeping your mouth shut because you think your friends want you to keep your mouth shut but you really want to say something - you are a pussy.

    If you are snarking and picking fights because you think your friends want you to pick fights but you'd really rather sit it out - you are a pussy

man I still don't think these are it. Also I don't agree that not fighting battles you can win is pussy-esque, I think you prove the mass of your cojones when you fight battles that you may not win, or aren't expected to win... and win. But I wouldn't always feel comfortable engaging a situation where "pick on someone your own size" may apply.

The knuckling under adversity bit is absolutely true, and although I really don't want to and less still do I care about keeping rank in the pecking order, you're most likely on point in what would put me on top or below.

Okay so I think we've narrowed it down to the question of "what makes a pussy" as you said, but now that I think about I think lil said it best at the mention of choosing your battles. By keeping my mouth shut, I'm effectively engaging in choosing my battles, i.e. not choosing these ones in particular. My concern therefore is whether or not choosing my battles wherein I virtually choose to not partake in battles, makes me [weak] or not.

The reason I would choose to not partake in any of them is because of the examples I gave in the OP, where nobody is actually listening to each other for some sort of conclusion to be made, whether its a win or loss for either party-- thus, both sides end up losing and so does their relationship.





kleinbl00  ·  3796 days ago  ·  link  ·  

galen has the right of it. We're circling around the same subject, I think I just see it more universally than you do. For example, I said:

    To be a pussy is to knuckle under in the face of adversity. To be a pussy is to not fight battles you can win. But to be a pussy is to fight battles because it is expected of you, because it's the easy way out, because it gives your friends and peers a way to shunt you down the pecking order.

You reduced that down to

    I don't agree that not fighting battles you can win is pussy-esque, I think you prove the mass of your cojones when you fight battles that you may not win, or aren't expected to win... and win.

You're looking at actions. I'm looking at intent. Galen boiled it down to two snappy lines of dialog; it's not what you're fighting, it's why you're fighting. And no matter the reason, if it aligns with your internal compass you're showing inner strength. Might be wrong, might be evil, might be misguided... but ain't nobody gonna call you weak.

"Choosing your battles" is a much more Machiavellian concern. Absolutely: some fights aren't worth fighting. But that's a different consideration than "why you must fight them." It's like this:

    The reason I would choose to not partake in any of them is because of the examples I gave in the OP, where nobody is actually listening to each other for some sort of conclusion to be made, whether its a win or loss for either party-- thus, both sides end up losing and so does their relationship.

Right. But when you say it like "nobody's listening to each other, thus both sides end up losing" you're making your reasoning external. People are calling your judgement into question because you are making judgements about external factors. If instead you say it like "I'm not going to add my voice to an already-pointless conversation" you've taken a stand.

Same statement? Yep. Absolutely. Same justification? Got it in one. Different context? Just different enough. That's the thing - sometimes it's about nuance. And the nuance here is "I have made a judgement for myself and you're not swaying me."

galen  ·  3796 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Galen boiled it down to two snappy lines of dialog; it's not what you're fighting, it's why you're fighting.

Exactly. And FWIW, it was actually Dan Harmon that boiled it down. I was quoting the Community pilot.

kleinbl00  ·  3796 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Well, yes. But the esteemed Mr. Harmon is only here by proxy.

I prolly oughtta watch that show. I think I conflated it with Modern Family in my head, which I was lukewarm towards.

nowaypablo  ·  3796 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Modern Family was great to watch with my mom for like two seasons stretching it. With Donald Glover and the rest in community I think I'm going to give it a proper chance too.

_refugee_  ·  3796 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Ugh, Modern Family.

thenewgreen  ·  3796 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I somehow made the same connection between the two shows and never watched either. Community has received so much praise on Hubski that I think it warrants a shot. Imagunna check it out.

nowaypablo  ·  3796 days ago  ·  link  ·  

We should unite the community noobs somehow, it seems like there's a good bunch of us about to start. Tv sit-com club?

thenewgreen  ·  3796 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm on episode 2 season 1. It's already hilarious. kleinbl00 the pilot is an ode to John Hughes that I think you'd appreciate

nowaypablo  ·  3796 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I just watched one of the latest episodes on Hulu. It's D&D themed, I was laughing to the point of a maniacal cackle. Where are you watching early episodes?

thenewgreen  ·  3796 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm paying for them. YouTube. $1.99

thenewgreen  ·  3796 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'd be down.

thenewgreen  ·  3796 days ago  ·  link  ·  
This comment has been deleted.
nowaypablo  ·  3796 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Right. But when you say it like "nobody's listening to each other, thus both sides end up losing" you're making your reasoning external. People are calling your judgement into question because you are making judgements about external factors. If instead you say it like "I'm not going to add my voice to an already-pointless conversation" you've taken a stand.

Ok, breakthrough. and I get what you and galen mean in regards to the why, though I was obviously thinking of the actual actions themselves primarily, as the conflict lies in communication between these people and myself.. anyway, I think I got you. This helps, thanks.