after he did something nice for me and I thanked him for it, he said, "Well, that's what we're doing, right? Being nice to each other?"

I love that, what a sweet and perfect principle to go by.

When I'm with a girl I really care about, I always have an urge to do very cheesy things. If she thinks it's uncool or lame yeah that's half the idea, things like texting her good morning and putting a fresh cup of coffee in her locker before school. because I want her to be happy with something to laugh at the corniness, but even as just an afterthought, also to appreciate: a tiny positive addition to every day.

If that seems normal to you, it's not anymore. Not around me. But the idea is important, kindness even regardless of love.

And to answer your other question: virtually every time I've deeply hated someone I've eventually regretted it, or felt it was truly so meaningless. Hatred up to a point-- and I hope nobody here ever has to reach that point-- is temporary. Hate is temporary, just like love up to a point is temporary-- and I hope everyone here gets to experience that point-- but there's a chance you won't.

You've got good judgement ref, that person on the other side of the screen probably is an asshole. I know I've been. But there's a lot of people out there that can make you real mad real quick and you can bet every nerve left in your body that they'll just keep coming.

As I always say, those people are screaming from the mountaintop, they're not listening to you, and they're not going to climb down to sit at your table to hear another perspective so trying to engage in discussion is useless. Once you start yelling too, you won't be able to hear the people around you trying to console you either, and all of a sudden you're another asshole with a bullhorn screaming from the mountaintop.

Here's the kicker though: one of the things I want most in a girl? To kick my ass when it needs kickin'. To let me know when I'm wrong, to look me in the eyes and tell me she's hurt or I was hurtful to someone when I don't realize it. I want her to tell me when I'm a lazy slob and when I can pick myself up and improve. and I want her to know that she's got flaws too, and we're going to start with the smallest little additions to every day that will make both of us the best people we can be. Why? Because as mk so very well said:

But, speaking for myself (with the advantage of hindsight), the healthiest relationship that I ever had (the one I have now) came at a time in my life when I was without a doubt content not to be in one.

And when I'm too content I don't mind being reminded to straighten up and fly right.

edit: I should try to keep a train of thought next time.