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comment by mk
mk  ·  3937 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Did you ask your father in law if you could marry his daughter?

I did not. Although my father in law doesn't speak English, so I my wife would have had to translate anyway. I did make a point to meet her parents once before asking, but as they lived 11 hours from Beijing, there was only one visit.

Had the situation been different, I still don't think I would have. I am very big on understanding the people my wife loves, and having a meaningful relationship with them, but I don't like the idea in general. That said, if it were a big deal culturally to my wife and her family, I would go through the motions for their sake. I'm not stubbornly idealistic when it's only for my sensibilities.