While focusing on others can be a great thing, you can be much more helpful to people when you are at your best. Self improvement is all that it is made out to be and more. I would consider volunteering an action of self-betterment. When I've taken the time to help others in need, I tend to learn quite a bit and I get a sense of personal satisfaction that certainly makes me mentally "better." -I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. OftenBen, in regards to relationships, you'll have plenty of time for such things and though it's cliche I have found that it is true that, one finds romance when they're not looking.
the self is a Modern Western affectation ;) Personality exists only in context. ;(
I'm not worried about time per se. I've just accepted that dating for dudes comes down to a numbers game, making a lot of attempts, and 'failing' most of those times. Regarding finding romance when not in pursuit of it, I worry that my interests, if pursued to their extremes (Which I'm prone to do) will essentially make me anti-social, even if I'm not that way. To use the outdoorsy stuff as an example, I want to spend as much of this summer as possible on the water, and remote Michigan waterways aren't exactly teeming with SEXY SINGLES LOOKING TO HOOK UP IN YOUR AREA. My desire for a relationship in that regard is a desire to have someone to share that experience with. My bros (male friends and literal brothers) are great, but there's a limit to the depth of those relationships.
It's still the issue of wading through a crowd of people trying to find someone you're compatible with. Just because women have a lot of men approaching them, it doesn't mean a guy they're compatible with will ever actually approach them. Particularly if the woman isn't projecting herself in a way that would attract the men she wants, or if she's not even bothering to approach men herself.