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comment by lil
lil  ·  3942 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Short Story Club Round... 3-ish

This story seems dead in the water. Reminds me of all those times at a ball game when some people try to get a wave going.

Too bad. What with the snow storm coming and Annie about to head to the airport, anything can happen. But it won't.

humanodon what do you think?





humanodon  ·  3940 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Ok, added a little

lil  ·  3940 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Karyn's messages, desperate Karyn's thin hold on him turned his tasteful neck wear into a noose, his cuff links a pair of handcuffs and left his heart beaten instead of beating.
Your writing makes me actually want to sympathize with this bottomfeeder.
humanodon  ·  3940 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Heh, now we're getting somewhere!

humanodon  ·  3942 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I've been busy, but I'm willing to try something in the next day or so.

thenewgreen  ·  3942 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Don't be so sure. I think these things can/should have an untraditional timeline. Makes me want to revisit the Caribou just to prove a point. I can't get to this tonight though.

lil  ·  3942 days ago  ·  link  ·  

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE CARIBOUSKI: insomniasexx would cry.