That's technically rape - You are talking about understood permission communicated via the secret telepathy of couples.

C'mon, lil. Obviously I'm talking about the unspoken communication that can only exist between two people who have been with each other for a long time, a subtle body language that doesn't require, and in fact is lessened by, speaking. Anyone with a modicum of emotional sensitivity knows to what I'm referring. I didn't think that needed clarification, but I appreciate it, nonetheless.

Money is a proxy for power for some people, typically the unimaginative sort, but it comes in all flavors. Are you not attracted to your husband's intellectual power? Power is an attractive thing, but it need not be the Wall Street type, and for thinking people is preferably not the Wall Street type.

...don't equate wearing a dress with feeling feminine...I hate wearing a dress - but note: the spousal unit thinks he wants me to wear a dress.

I was using the dress line in a literal and a metaphorical sense. I do like a woman in a pretty dress sometimes, but also I mean that it's often attractive for a woman to be unapologetically womanly, dress wearing being a superficial and stereotypical example of such behavior. Of course there are plenty of other ways in which a woman can let her femininity show without wearing any particular garment.

There are other ways of doing it.

Certainly one can just lay there, but even that still has the act of penetration, which is itself a violent act, as anyone who has had the displeasure of taking a woman's virginity can attest to. By no means does being aggressive mean being insensitive. Quite the contrary. In my experience, to be aggressive in a way that is satisfying requires a much deeper sensitivity than passivity does, as one needs to be keenly aware of how one's partner is responding, while also maintaining an often high level of physicality.

Anyway, I agree with you on most of your points, and I think maybe I was crass and unclear in my original statement. One last thing I would add: sex is gender roles by it's very nature (at least two person, heterosexual sex), as it's the thing that people do with the parts that make them the gender they are. I don't think there's anything inherently unequal about acknowledging that.