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comment by _refugee_
_refugee_  ·  3949 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Desperately Seeking Soulmate? Please, Stop Already

    there is one person, for whatever reason, that you get along the best with and feel most comfortable with.

what minimum_wage said, and then I ask:

Why?

Why just one person? Because their personality compliments every aspect of yours? With so many people on this planet, isn't it very possible that people exist with very similar personalities, and so if there is one person whose personality manages to compliment every aspect of yours at the time that you find them, can't we assume that there are probably others out there as well? Sure, everyone is a special snowflake down to their very last hangnail but what if, sometimes, it's only that hangnail that differentiates one person from the next?





thenewgreen  ·  3949 days ago  ·  link  ·  

If you were able to set up some measures of what it means to "get along" or "be compatible" with someone, then I think it stands to reason that there is someone out there that will fulfill those metrics more than anyone else can. That said, as you change, grow, mature, digress etc they may not be #1 anymore. But I do think it's possible that someone out there exists that is the most compatible for you at a given time. I think chasing this idea is dangerous because it's not quantifiable. forwardslash's mother is right, 'you don't find your soulmate, you become someone's soulmate." -Great words of wisdom Mrs. /

A piece of wisdom from me to anybody that is searching: When you are dating someone and it's at the beginning, if there is anything about that person that bothers you or gets your goat, just know that this will not subside, it will likely only magnify. If you can see yourself being okay with the magnification, then stick with it. Otherwise, bail. I see too many people stick in bad relationships that had clear-cut warning signs at the outset. -Especially when these things revolve around values.

_refugee_  ·  3949 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    If you were able to set up some measures of what it means to "get along" or "be compatible" with someone, then I think it stands to reason that there is someone out there that will fulfill those metrics more than anyone else can.

But are we also willing to acknowlege that this measure is only going to have personal meaning for you? Some people like relationships with a lot of conflict*, some people like relationships with none. Clearly, what it means to "get along" with someone varies widely from person to person.

That is good advice though tng, I won't argue with you on that.

*using conflict as humanodon would mean it, not necessarily big screaming fights where we're throwing lamps at each other, but pushback, perhaps, disagreements, places where you don't see eye to eye - am I understanding it correctly humano?

humanodon  ·  3949 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yep, you got it!