That's tough. I run into so many young women who say they never plan on having kids. I run into enough that I wonder what things will look like in 20 years. I completely understand, though to me it's a somewhat unexpected turn of events. I hope contraceptives for men make their way to the market soon. Biologically, it makes sense for us to be in reproductive mode, but at present, it really doesn't make sense for a lot of people. I think that by giving males and females control over their bodies is a positive thing.
I cannot lie and say my experience at 19 is not a part of my decision. Before then I thought I wanted kids. But when I got pregnant I had to face the realities of the situation in a way I'd never had to before and really think about the practicalities. It was very much not going to work for me at the time (I'm sure I would have had to drop out of college and I don't think I would have gone back - I know the stats - , plus I would have been tied to an odious person for the rest of my life, plus poor and poorly placed in society to become less so, plus, plus, plus) and it also made me think about the practicalities and expense of the whole thing in general and it started a long move on my side away from wanting to have kids. I have many other reasons too; I hate hospital and needles (getting my blood drawn makes me pass out, in fact - as do contacts); financially kids are extremely expensive and frankly I'd rather spend the money on myself; I am extremely independent, doubt I'd be able to find a good partner to raise kids with, and doubt I would be able to have kids without ending up resenting them. Of course I do acknowledge that some of this is probably good and healthy at my age and also could potentially change, but frankly, I have no interest in being responsible for a little tiny being. I like kids and sure, I'll babysit. I just don't want one for life. I sometimes have trouble understanding why people have kids. Would it be so bad if our population dipped? I'm not sure, although it would probably have economic ramifications that I'm not capable of realizing.
Well, in some European countries where populations have dipped, there has been an influx of immigrants, particularly from Islamic countries. This has caused some tensions to say the least. I for one, am interested in seeing my line carry on but not just now. Unfortunately, I have been in a position on more than one occasion to state that opinion when it mattered. Fortunately, my then-partners felt the same about their situations in life and so to my knowledge, I am not a father. Kids are crazy expensive. I'm friends with a couple who had their first two kids in Vietnam and they saved a shitload of money. I think they've had one or two more recently, so I guess those savings are out the window. Anyway, the dad, (who is the same age as me) told me that he and his wife wanted kids early so that by the time the kids are out of college, they'll still be relatively young and probably be in a good position to decide what to do with the rest of their lives. Also, so that they'll be able to run around with the kids and be really involved in their lives, which does seem harder at a more advanced age. That makes a lot of sense to me, but one's 20's are a gamble in so many ways. I'm nearing the end of mine and am doing what I can to set myself up for a better life down the line, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't in part because of the life choices of my friends who are not collectively known for making great long-term plans. Having a whole lot of fun and stories to tell? Yeah, but good stories often come at a cost and leave scars. I don't fault people for not wanting kids. In some cases it makes a lot of sense. I'm friends with another couple that race motorcycles and like to party their asses off and go on expensive vacations. They're both more than a bit narcissistic and completely as in love with each other as they are with themselves. They're really great people and caring friends, so I don't mean to give them a bad rap, just saying.