Save, save, save...

I'm hopefully entering Americorps in the next few months to pay off the one student loan I have. I used to think that it would be impossible to predict what kind of job I'd have when I was older, and it still kind of is, but in this period of my life I feel like the dreams of me and most of my peers are "narrowed down." I try not to operate under that perspective, because I think success is almost as much force of will as it is blind luck, and acknowledging that your dreams aren't what they used to be is, in a way, giving up.

But about money? About making money to pay rent right now this week and then buy beans and rice and then pay for the gas to light my stove? I seem to only be able to find decent paying jobs in restaurants. But I'm tired of working in restaurants, at least in the front of the house (I've yet to bartend though).

While working these jobs, I feel myself yearning for the shift to end, for time to speed up, and then when I get off work I move on to drinks and conversation, hearty laughter and cigarettes outside. I can tell that I'm wasting so much time (not to mention money and lung capacity), but I got rent and budding romantic relationships to finance (bus trips to New York and subway sandwiches when I'm there), so I can't exactly quit my job that I'm not exactly fond of. So when I read things like how to buy a property and then renovate it and manage it and make money on your terms, my heart swells a little. I would like a future where I'm more self-determined than I am right now. Thanks for listening, it got a little schmultzy at the end.