What a fantastic question lil, and a wonderful response from your friend.

"I can't say I know more than I did back then, but I have more experience not knowing it."

That to me is a big part of why being older is easier. You realize that all of your insecurities, fallibility's etc. are shared in everybody else. You know that even the most seemingly-confident people are just as scared as you are. You know that even the most beautiful people think they're ugly sometimes. We are all a bunch of weirdo's :)

I think it gets much easier actually.

Does what get easier? Living? That's a biological question. As far as I can tell "living" gets harder (organ failures and such). That's obviously not what the question meant.

And for that matter, what do you mean by "easier?"

I've recently found myself in an existential thought loop. It's depressing, and I haven't quite found the answer yet.

My problem goes something like this: We work day in and day out asking "does it get easier?" But what are we working for exactly? Money? Living? We all will die in the end, and there's no way to prevent that. Unless we break the laws of physics. Dying isn't a solution, as consciousness is simply another "law". Past, current, and future consciousness are all different. As are other people's. Or rather, they are the same. Just different instances. Just like gravity. So dying isn't a solution, and living has no goal.

So does what get easier? What are we quantifying exactly? And how do we determine whether it's easy or hard?

I suppose "easy" is using the definition of "quickly going to your goal state". And "hard" is "slowly going to your goal state". But we still have the problems of "going" and "goal".

Going implies we are actively working toward something. And goal is some end accomplishment that we set out to achieve.

By that definition most people aren't in the definition of "easy" or "hard". Or perhaps their "goal" is just something different?

There's no goal, no direction. And evolution instills in us the goal of "use less energy, and stay alive". That's the "goal". But how does one work toward that? Being lazy, procrastination, eating a lot, gaining weight.

We also instill in children the goal of "social compliancy". We want them to follow the herd. Because that's what naturally helps toward goal #1.

This is the source of John's problems. As is the source of my own.

But objectively looking at these goals, what is the point? What makes these goals desirable? Besides the cruel hand of natural selection, there really isn't any desirable traits. Nature just says "fuck you, I don't care if you feel satisfied or happy! You are alive! that's what my goal is!"

But in the end, nature fucks you over and kills you anyway. It's all futile and pointless. And the more you try to ignore nature, the bigger you get fucked over. That's the problem. This prevents people from setting their own goals (which are all meaningless anyway).

So really, "does it get easier" is a non-question. You, by default, already are accelerating towards nature's goals just fine. That shit's easy. And that's why everyone does it. You pretty much do it automatically. And if you don't, you die. And nature doesn't care. Nature has billions of others to replace you.

So what's the point? Do you set your own goal and say "fuck nature"? I know plenty of people who do that. Who'd rather die than chase nature's goal. Then there are others who want to get to nature's goal faster.

So what do you do? Die and let nature fuck you (and consciousness) until the end of time? Break the laws of physics and rewrite your own? (ha!) Define your own arbitrary meaningless goal?

This is where I get stuck. I guess "easier" in the end, is really how easily you follow nature's goal. Which is really nothing in particular except fucking you over. Which is why we feel shitty. We work towards pointless goals, which is "hard". Or we work towards nature's goals, which is "easy" but unfulfilling. We apply our own "goals" and rules on top of it which make even obtaining nature's goal "difficult".

So really, all you can do is define an arbitrary goal for yourself, and set out to obtain it. For no reason in particular. Just to say fuck you back to nature.

So "does it get easier?" Depends. But is "easier" really any better?

I like the cosmic balance list at the end, pretty funny stuff. As far as your question, I believe it gets easier. At least it has for me as I can prioritize my life better. I am learning what is really important to me and things that I once worried about too much, I don't sweat about anymore. The problems in life don't get any easier to solve, but as I gain some perspective, I realize that there isn't a whole lot that can rattle me other than relationships with the people that I love, and I am always working to maintain and improve that.

Like I said to beezneez in the wit's end post, I have a transitional period ahead of me with a lack of funds, but I don't really feel at wit's end yet. I like to think it's because I know that there are more important things to worry about, but maybe it just hasn't hit me full force yet. We'll see, maybe it doesn't actually get any easier.

I don't want things to get easier. Overcoming adversity is a spice of life

I think it gets easier as you obtain experience. If you deal with a breakup once, the next one is easier. You have a better understanding of what is going to happen, you learn how to better deal with it, etc.

However as you get older you don't deal with the same things over and over. You consistently have to deal with new and more tragic things and sometimes by yourself.

One of my friend's parents died within a few years of one another. When his mom died, my friend was hurting but alright - he also had his father to lean on and help with the process. When his dad died he was an absolute mess. Even though he had dealt with it once, the next time was far harder on him.