My personal choice is to place myself in internet communities that emphasize the positive aspects of people

Can I ask what communities these are? I've been looking to switch up the places I go online for this reason.

The problem is that the US as a nation was built on land stolen from others by genocide, and labour stolen from others by slavery. These are the only reasons it could ever reach the heights it did and hold the power it does.

This racism is a core, inseperable ingredient of the US identity. A celebration of the USA and to some extent a celebration of capitalism are the celebration of some of the most unspeakable acts that a civilisation could undertake.

Combine this with the chauvinistic rhetoric of US social politics, and is it any wonder that racism is such a big problem? Dare I say I see no solution so long as the USA as a concept maintains credibility.

Note I'm focusing on the states because it's particularly easy. Europe has an equally large race problem, but I find it's slightly more nuanced, and slightly harder to define. As for the other continents, I don't feel like I know enough to confortably comment.

I recently read 'One hundred Years of Solitude', and I think it's the best book I've ever read. The language, imagery, vitality of it are incredible. I've heard so many say they were bored by it and I just don't get it.

Otherwise, I also greatly enjoyed 'Trout Fishing in America', which is beautifully psychedelic, 'Stoner', which is probably the most genuinely heartbreaking prose I've ever read (the last few pages of my copy are covered in tear stains), and 'Siddartha', which not only has a wonderful message, but reads so easily, like a song or a prayer.

I have recently also been totally blown away by the poetry of Rumi. If anyone is interested in mysticism, Sufism, or just beautifully hopeful musings, then I also really recommend it.

Of course it wasn't, that's why the race dialogue in Europe is very different. We very much still have a problem with racism, though.

I experienced something somewhat similar. I grew up in an immigrant family and always felt kind of alienated from the community around me - I was, without a choice, "different", and although I came to not mind it, it did affect me as a kid. As a teenager I grew up with fairly low self esteem and lacking in confidence. That said I dealt with it fairly well, always had friends that mattered to me, and always had interests and activities that I enthusiastically pursued.

I have just finished university and, looking back on it, the entire experience was one long identity crisis. I wasnt just the only immigrant kid, but I was also one of the few lower class kids too, and I struggled to deal with that (although at the time I saw the drugs and the drinking as having a good time, rather than escapism). At the same time, I recently was exposed to some realities that I didnt take to well at all.

During my final exams I fell into a very deep depression. My moods have always seemingly oscillated but I had never experienced something this bad before. I have a great girlfriend who stuck by me, I passed all the exams with great results and I have a good job lined up, yet I did not care in the slightest. I did not feel like any of these things were as a result of anything I had done, they did not feel like achievements but rather temporary good luck that will run out. During this time my anxiety skyrocketed also to levels I had never experienced before.

So when the OP talks about suddenly being hit with these new experiences, I totally get that. To suddenly really understand and really feel depression was a massive shock to the system. Im still slowly working towards getting over it. Sometimes I still break down crying for apparently no reason. But sometimes something will actually make me smile. I stopped taking my medication and have decided to do things by myself, which is not for everyone, but I feel better than I have in weeks right now. Its very difficult but also very freeing to be able to discuss it openly. I guess its better to learn to deal with this right now than 20 years down the line, right?

Im also new to this site, this is my first post. Encouraging engaged, thoughtful discussion is very promising. If anyone wants to talk about their experiences or is going through something similar or had questions or whatever, Id love to talk about it!