Quite a wild week.

First, I am done with my PhD. The defense went well. Different than I expected and quite tough, but the examiners were happy. The worst was my boss telling me that "we would have given you a summa cum laude, but you didn't publish yet". And the reason I didn't publish yet, is him. Then he wanted to give a short speech and decided to tell the anecdote that my previous PIs gave him contradictory recommendations about me. My Masters' supervisor was very positive while the guy that supervised my first PhD attempt (where I left after 3 months) told him that he should "not touch me". But you know, he gave me a "chance" and he is happy about it... And then went on to talk about our "conflicts" (which were quite few in 6 years in the lab). I was like.... I worked here for 6 years, and that is what you come up with? fuck you. Anyway. there was cake, and arabic food, and non-alcoholic drinks (so my father doesn't freak out) and all was well :)

Here is me, mid-incantation. I have a tie-dyed labcoat I wear to festivals (so people know where to get their drug infos and testing). My lab made me a new one to add to the collection :)

One of the few good family pictures! And one of the few times people will ever see me in more fancy clothes

Second, I might have a spot for a PostDoc! Through some contacts in an NGO that supports psychedelic research in Europe I got connected to a lab in Frankfurt, ran by two female PIs. One working on mice and the other on monkeys. They are doing cross-species translational studies in behavioral neuroscience. Additionally, they are interested in researching psychedelics :) Had two interviews with them and they liked me (and I like them!). They are a younger generation of idealists and it sounds quite nice. The only issue, I need to get my own money. Which means, writing grants... But I am excited to get a chance to work on a topic I am interested in with people that seem to be interested in supporting me for a change.

After the defense (which my family attended) we head to the alps (with a short visit in Ulm, the city I lived at before moving to Heidelberg). A day later, my aunt and grandma from Germany joined us. They just landed back from Mexico a day before and booked a room in the same hotel as us. My grandma was quite tired when she arrived, we all thought it was jetlag. The area we were at has strict COVID guidelines for unvaccinated people. So my grandma (85 years old) and my aunt had to do an antigen test every morning. Two days later my grandma tested positive. The test was repeated and again positive. The hotel urged us to pack our stuff and head back to Germany (in retrospect, they were just scared shitless and me and my parents shouldn't have left, but that's another story). My grandma and aunt head back to my aunts' place and me and my family were on our way back to Heidelberg. Yesterday I started to have a cough. Today I had a fever and a headache. The antigen test turned out positive today in the morning, currently awaiting the results of the PCR test.

Grandma is doing okay. Mild symptoms. I will also be fine. I am just super pissed because my goddamn aunt scared my grandma so much that she didn't get vaccinated, even though she had appointments back in February. And now, through her anti-vaxx shit and lack of responsibility (who the fuck flies to Mexico right now??) she managed to get my grandma and me infected and multiple people across Germany into a 2-week quarantine. In addition, ended a two-week holiday for a whole family which was quite expensive for us (we are not a wealthy family) and adding much more extra costs for everyone involved.

I always asked myself "who the hell are these people bringing all these variants into the countries?". Well, "my aunt" is now a definitive answer.

So, yeah, I will be spending my holidays at home, instead of the Austria alps or berlin. Exactly what I needed after a 6-month thesis crunch. I hope my infection doesn't go that bad. Luckily I already had one shot which is supposed to reduce the severity of infection and transmission.

So, if you have any recommendations for TV shows, games, movies, books (audio), let me know!

View from our room in austria, it was lovely!

There was still some ice on the tops. This one looked interesting...

Just be glad you're not all mining bitcoin for me right now ;D

Guess who finally has a high school diploma? This girl!

Hubski. Yesterday, I was courageous!

On Monday evening a friend I know from Israel contacted me with the info that there have been two drug-related deaths at a festival in Israel and that her sister, a moderator at a national radio station, needs someone with expertise in harm reduction and drug checking to speak on her show.

My first reaction was "HELL NO!". The radio station she works for is one of the most listened to in the country and the time of speaking would be during lunch break. After 8pm, the second peak of listeners per day. In short, maaaaaany people would be listening.

Many fears came up. My hebrew is not good enough. The drug checking I am doing is - strictly speaking - illegal. I was afraid one of my parents or people I know from my home town might listen and what effects it might have... "Your son is talking about drugs on national TV!!"

Nevertheless, I agreed. After a quick 5 minute chat with one of the workers at the station that simply told me to "speak about what you know", it was set.

From that moment I was SO nervous! I started to read everything possible about what happened. Sadly, very little information was known at that point.

The next day, I was super nervous. The closer the interview came, the worse it got.

Then I got the call. I could hear the current live show running in the background and another voice talking to me. She verified who I was and asked me how I want to be introduced. I told them with my full name and profession.

A few minute later me and another guy were on air. First the other guy was speaking. Someone who attended the event and could answer general questions about what happened. I was getting more relaxed.

Then my turn came.... Honestly, I only have a vague recollection about what I said. I just remember three things.

1) When she asked "what is MD (slang for MDMA)?" I went on a full-blown neuroscientific response, just to realize halfways that nobody would understand me.

2) At some point I got nervous again and my voice got shaky. Which made me stutter.

3) After telling her about the drug checking action that I do, she asked "Isn't that illegal what you are doing?" I somehow got angry. Suddenly all the nervousness went away and with a clear voice I said "honestly, I don't know if it is legal or not. All I know is, if I have a way to stop someone from injuring themselves or dying, I would do it".

And with that, the interview ended. I was shaking for the next hour.

I felt so bad. So many things I could have told but didn't. All the little mistakes. I thought "Why wasn't I more prepared?".

Then I got a message from a friend that listened to the interview. She loved it. She loved the message and was happy to hear my voice through the radio :)

And I remembered, that for the first time, I showed a part of me to the broad public. Fully knowing what kind of consequences it could have.

I told my mother later. She was proud.

Waiting for numbness to set in

Today we are learning how big of liars mk and steve are regarding pain levels.

---

3 hours later

They aren't liars. It's not painful at all. Like actually maybe a 1 or 2 with the most pain the numbing needle. But it is something crazy happening to your body and you will react as you do in those situations. randomuser shakes. I sweat and get lightheaded. I haven't donated blood in forever because I'm so small that I am basically done the rest of the day.

It's short enough tho that even with anxiety and body reacting, it's over before it becomes unbearable.

I also had a really emotionally, long, long draining day yesterday, hadn't eaten anything before the procedure and, as always, am running on little sleep. I would not recommend doing it under those circumstances. Having a watered down Gatorade helped heaps tho.

---

The next day

Definitely sore. Sorta feels like if you slip on ice really, really hard except its not on your tailbone. But tender to the touch, sore and achy around, and some weird, unexpected pains if you move a certain way. I took 400mg advil mid day, with 250mg norco at 9am and 6pm. I am tiny + low tolerance though, my 200mg norco is likely your 500mg norco.

So basically, my recommendations on how to make it not as shitty as my experience:

- Do the procedure later in the day when sleeping for 15 hours won't hurt much.

- If you are a naturally anxious person, take half a valium beforehand.

- Let the doctor know UP FRONT that you are nervous and do not want to know the details or see the things they use. (Kevin apparently got a much more in depth description of the procedure than I did 😂)

- Get a good night's rest and make sure you have eaten a good breakfast (but probably a good while before the procedure because if I had thrown up, it would have been nice to throw up essentially nothing).

- Headphones + favorite music (I did this, as I always do for things like this, and it helps keep me calm). I actually posted this original photo as I was waiting for the numbing to work and texted my brother up until the first needle ("brb getting stem cells taken")

- Bring a watered-down yellow gatorade (watered-down because I find gatorade to be far too sugary and strong in general, but definitely too sugary after something like this).

- Drink a little bit of gatorade or suck on a sugar cube before the procedure to help get your blood sugar up.

- Remember to breath and that it's literally over in like 5 minutes, but prepare to spend at least an hour in the doctor's office between explanation, preparation, numbing, the actual procedure, and giving yourself 15 minutes to cool down / calm down afterwards.

- Ask the doctor for an extra gauze / tape for yourself for the next day. I'm sure most people have things at their house that would work but we're in the middle of moving so kevin got cheap-y hotel face circle + painters tape this morning

Speaking as a twice-optioned screenwriter with an engineering degree, the divide is this:

The mathematically inclined - STEM-heads - know what something is. They function on the quantifiable and defendable. Their sphere of comfort is one in which data and facts and evidence hold the greatest sway.

The romantically inclined - liberal arts majors - know what something should be. They function on the desirable and intuitable. Their sphere of comfort is one in which concensus and persuasion allow us to achieve great things.

An engineer understands that the engines canna take much more of this, captain. The speed of light in a vacuum is an absolute. You can't fit ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag. And they also know that all the hope in the world won't change that.

A poet understands that dammit, Scotty, we're counting on you. Laws are meant to be broken. You can be all that and a bag of chips. And they know that the bumblebee flies anyway.

We cannot function as a society without both aspects. We cannot function as humans without both aspects. HOWEVER

- Human Resources departments are never crewed by engineers.

- Boardrooms have few engineers in them.

- Lawyers are rarely engineers.

The tribe is led by liberal arts twits. They'd lead us all into the wasteland without people who understand double-blind testing but they'd still lead us there because your average stem-head generally believes that people should follow the evidence, not the leader.

But we don't.

It's an unfair stereotype to say that sciences majors are incapable of relating to liberal arts majors. However, it's an accurate stereotype to say that sciences majors do not relate to liberal arts majors as well as liberal arts majors relate to themselves, and it's fair to say that STEM-heads benefit from learning to meet the liberal arts majors where they live, if for no other reason than the parties tend to be less awkward.

That said, it's drearily routine for any liberal arts class inflicted on STEM majors to be seen as "humanizing" but any science class inflicted on liberal arts majors to be "degrading." "When am I ever going to use algebra again?" "How is the ideal gas law at all relevant to my future as a corporate raider?" "zeroth law? Can't you nerds even count to three?"

The STEM guys are far more likely to have a job, though.

I have a feeling that this is going to be one of those posts of mine that will ruffle some feathers.

He came into the program as a multi-dimensional, highly skilled and multi-talented human being. I can't take any credit. and this thing from IRC on the 20th November 2016:

22:32 < lilski> I said earlier that I teach computer science students - but I basically teach them how to be human beings

First of all, what does it mean to be a human being, let alone teach someone to be one? I will make more of an effort to describe what I do because my flippant shorthand sounds stupid and arrogant.

When the usual response from people is a sad nod, and "Good idea," I am only reinforcing negative stereotypes -- and like all stereotypes, they can potentially lead to prejudice.

Sorry for being peevish about it, but as someone who is focused on hard sciences and getting patronising treatment from most humanities-oriented people around me ever since I can remember, I can't help but resent some of this attitude (don't blame me, blame multiple people who told me verbatim that I must lack a soul to not appreciate some poem or picture :/).

but I'm at loss about what you actually do in class.

What is the thing that your students lack

and how does acquiring it make them into 'human beings'?

What's about your students that your aim is to make them into those 'multidimensional human beings'?

Sorry, but I simply loathe when in my own life the, supposedly, attuned to humanity people just throw me into some easy 'cog-head' category and go forth with their pre-existing assumption.

I'm not angry or resentful specifically toward you, lil, but I'm asking because so far you have proven that you will not just dismiss my questions outright with something along the lines of "you will not understand, untermensh".

My goals at the moment including maximizing work efficiency, which I'll judge by how much sleep I can get per week after finishing all tasks. Apart from 18 credit-hours in my 1st semester and an average of 20 in the future, there are a ridiculous amount of random annoying tasks, especially as plebes, including taking out trash, sweeping halls, and delivering laundry to all cadets in your company. These duties also include maintaining a room standard, which is stupidly detailed and fairly difficult to maintain while you're living in the room. Inspection can occur during weekday business hours at the risk of punishment-- the punishment here is called Hours.

On that topic, hours means taking your parade rifle (an old wooden m14 we all keep in our room and use for drill/parades) and walking back and forth central area for x Hours. It blows. Also, you get your rank stripped away if the violation is bad enough, which adds a layer of ridicule when you're not actively completing your hours. As people get lazy and especially cynical, the risk of getting hours aggregates and the shit you eat is likely due to you by the time you receive it.

I haven't answered your question yet, I'm just ranting. But to try to answer your question, we learn everything any other college does, along with a hefty emphasis on maintaining a physical standard and a standard of discipline, aka "military bearing." It's a lot better than it sounds, because everyone going through it with a mind-blowing sense of humor makes playing the game not only tolerable, but a lot of fun.

I'd say the one thing I've learned so far is how far teamwork can go. Every second me or my buddies is out of the room or at a desk working, everyone else is behind them making sure they're covered and accounted for. I've been back on campus a few days and I've already had my ass saved by my roommates, and vice versa for sure.

My short-term goals include deciding between Persian and Arabic and getting squared away to take on the semester on Monday. My long-term goals include reaching the standard maximum on the APFT (Army physical fitness test) which consists of 71 push-ups and 78 sit-ups in 2 minutes each, followed by a 2-mile run under 13 minutes, and getting my GPA high enough to finagle my way into Princeton by the end of my sophomore year, just in case I decide not to commit to the Army.

The GPA is not just academic, it consists of 3 pillars: Athletic, Academic, and Military/Leadership. The 3rd is usually graded over the summer during military training and leadership details, the other 2 are accounted for during the school year. Your GPA dictates your class rank, which is critical at West Point. A high class rank means more opportunities, including travel and exchange programs (all-paid), but more importantly, being assigned the army branch of your choice, followed by the post of your choice.

So, let's say I'm 300th in my class. I'll most likely be assigned Infantry if I choose that branch because they always need more infantry officers. However, I may not be assigned a post with the 25th infantry div in Hawaii, even though it was my 1st choice, cause that clearly awesome gig is already taken up by the top 50 infantry branching cadets before me.

Otherwise, it's just college!

edit: also especially as a plebe my day could start anywhere from 0500 like it was during basic training, to 0600. Classes don't start till 0730 the earliest though, to give you a scope of how much shit goes on that isn't directly a class here.

edit2: Also it's like by far the most beautiful campus I've seen except for Amherst college but that's only because they have a cliff overlooking a crazy cool mountain. I'm right on the Hudson river in the Hudson river valley though so it's a close call. This place looks like fucking Hogwarts, straight-up. On morning runs, I'm usually greeted by a sunrise, a bright pink sky, and literal castle walls on my right with the Hudson river on my left.

The voting system used has lead to a democracy of only two parties (Duverger's Law). There's a very strong us-versus-them mentality comparing the Democrats and Republicans. Because of this, the interesting political debates don't really happen at the party level but at the candidate level - so it matters a lot which person is nominated, because if they win it's their ideas and policies that they will try to drag through Congress.

If you want to know why it is in the news every. single. day, Ryan Holiday explains in his book that news outlets like Politico figured out that they can start coverage of the race years in advance. They do this simply by discussing and speculating on potential candidates and ramping up the coverage from there on. This election has been nuts (at least from my perspective) in no small part because of all the media attention generated around it.