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lil  ·  4285 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Today's Writing Prompt: Where We Hide

Your thoughts are interesting. Personally, I wouldn't change a word (except maybe "wiping"). Much of the delight of poetry is in the rhyme and rhythm. jesushx's hard last line which rhymes with wrought and fault (and what) totally makes the poem for me.