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teenagewangst  ·  4316 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Milkshakes

I have ended up walking to go get a milkshake, but I would say that part of the appeal is that I don't have them very often. I really should try enjoying small things more, I can get caught up in my thoughts pretty easily. As well as being frugal - going to the grocery store is a fun game of what percent/how much money I can save by buying things on sale - even though it's not a particularly large sum of money.

If you couldn't tell, I also get caught up in being self-deprecating, guilty, and negative, not so much because I am all those things all the time, but that being the opposite feels disingenuous. It's a bit of a defense mechanism, so to speak, where being preemptively self-deprecating is an attempt to cancel out any sense of ego that comes out, which is an odd thing to combine with a variable amount of self-confidence.

All of this stuff comes out when I spend too much time alone, thinking. Thank goodness for music.