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kleinbl00 said an equal relationship means "getting what you want without giving up anything you want to keep" -- I wish I had asked what does that mean or give me an example, but it was time to go. To me, equality in a relationship is a feeling -- it just feels equal, there are no tallies, no quid pro quo, and most of all no resentment, no resentment generated passive-aggressive behaviour or critical sarcastic comments. Some couples have to work it out on a tally sheet -- and that's okay as a way of building trust. Others just give all they can naturally and spontaneously and consistently and it feels kind of equal even though you're both willing to give even more than your share.