I feel for you.

Even though I have been an atheist for quite a few years now, having been raised (indoctrinated) a catholic, it's still always a struggle to find the words to try and comfort someone else through tough times. Having heard and lived it for so long, it always feels so natural to say "I'll pray for you". But saying something like that is really quite empty, as it generally seems to be more about making the pray-er feel better, not the pray-ee (?).

And I can't even say that I feel your pain, as I can't say that I've experienced something quite like what you're dealing with. But I can express sympathy in my condolences. Hopefully it is some amount of comfort to know that even a stranger on the internet can care about your situation and they can genuinely hope that you'll figure things out and be alright.

Never forget those that are gone. For the good and bad you experienced with them, or because of them, all has had a hand in shaping who you are. They live on in the actions of those of us whose lives they touched before they again became one with the universe.