Damn. I took for granted that, despite how ragged and hard my childhood was at times, my dad always made me feel that I was the man he never was. Granted, a major barometer of success was to simply not get a girl pregnant before I turned 20, but in lots of other measures, I was made to feel like a champion. I say this because it occurred to me, "what's the opposite of being made to feel like a failure since your first memories," and for that hypothetical I didn't have to look far. I was made to feel like my dad's savior. I never thought hard about what the inverse of that would feel like. I'm sorry kb. If it helps, by even the strictest standards, I think you're kinda swell. I know you don't draw upon internet love for your self-esteem, but thanks for sharing. I didn't know "failure" factored into your identity.