Hi!

I want to ask you if there are any Meetup.com groups in your area. They seem to be a good way to meet new people. Too bad there's only 4 in my city (3 of them dead) and the nearest "hub" of people is 200 km from here.

Ok, on to your post.

From what I'm reading, it's not about making people like me to be friends with them, it's about finding people I'm comfortable enough with to be myself.

This is pretty much the gist of it. The problem is:

It's most reasonable, but I haven't found such people nor see the prospect of finding them any time soon.

Hence the question about the groups. Volunteering has been suggested here by goobster, which works. I see it as a big group of people whose objective is helping others. :)

As I've written before, my problem is a lack of public meetup groups in my area which cater to my interests. I volunteered before, didn't really work for me. Tried connecting to the groups in the other city, turned out to be too expensive for me financially (travel costs).

Some more points:

Is it possible that I've already found people that could be my true friends and am just reluctant to admit it because it would mean I'd have to trust them?

When people like that show up, they make the effort to earn your trust. They go the extra mile. They reach out for you. Find those who do it and there's your answer.

How much do I tolerate from people, especially when they're being self-centered assholes?

This falls into the "up to you" area. Tolerate as much as you think you should.

For me, the tolerance level is VERY low.

I've dealt with self-centered assholes before (one was a close friend). In the end we just drifted away from each other

because it was always about him and never about me. What HE wanted to do. What HE wanted to talk about. My suggestions were always disregarded. Also, emotional abuse from his part.

To end this in a better mood:

What do I do? How do I lose the neediness? How do I make friends?

Be comfortable with being by yourself. You are your best company. When people who add value to your life show up, it's going to be a bonus. We have a saying in my country: "It's better to be alone than in bad company".

Also, seek the others. And hey, there's Hubski! :D