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My sister is much the same way in that she doesn't seem to be taking hold of the wheel of her life. She seems to be adrift at the moment and just letting things happen as they happen. I've tried talking to her a lot about some of the same things you're worried about such as being a reliable source of help for our mother when I'm not there to help her out. I wish my sister were a bit more reliable. Hopefully both our siblings find some solid ground to plant their feet on and push forward from there.