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galen  ·  3480 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Do you desire power?

Absolutely. For the majority of my life thus far I have found myself frustrated by my powerlessness against the forces underlying my day-to-day existence. This was first manifested in my dissatisfaction with school, which seemed unable to mitigate. It showed up again and again in my personal and academic life, and over time I developed a deep-seated fear and loathing of powerlessness. Today powerlessness is quite probably my greatest fear, as well as my greatest hatred, so I feel on my less charitable days that I'm obligated to seek out and monopolize whatever power I can. This search informs how I interact with people, what I choose to do, and who I choose to do it with.

I sometimes worry that, left unchecked, this fear could develop, leading me down the terrifying path of an amoral power-monger. But it is my hope that through self-awareness, intentional development of my moral compass, and mere avoidance of powerlessness I can build the strength necessary to stave off this future.