since you asked Should means that everything is in place to work out the way you personally set it up. It was your design, everyone is following through -- you should trust people to do what they said they would do.

but you don't for various reasons, so you micromanage and try to influence the outcome.

Maybe you don't even consciously know what those reasons are. You don't even realize that you're not trusting them. At least that's what happened to me.... sorry for being a little bit cryptic.

new but related topic

People often get mad at me for not listening to them. For example, person x (spousal unit) gives me directions to get to the highway after dropping him off. I question the directions. I want to go a different way. He gets personal: "Why don't you just listen to me?"

This is a trust issue. I don't listen to him in this case because he is giving me directions for the way he would go, the way he likes to go, the way he's familiar with. I know that going that way, I'd run into a shitload of traffic and it would take me an extra 10 minutes. Going my way, I'd also run into traffic. It doesn't really matter. Driving sucks -- but I'd rather make my own mistakes (and make my own decisions). This makes him mad.

Underlying it is his feeling of not being trusted. I'd like him to say, "It's not about me. I'm proud you're trying to figure out a good way for you to get to the highway. Thanks for giving me a lift out of your way." But instead I get, "Why don't you ever listen to me?"

Next time he says that, I really have to say, "It's not about your ego or your need to be obeyed and listened to (trusted, respected, adult, the decider, whatever.) I just want to get to the highway in a way that I feel is efficient, even if it isn't. Why does that have to be an issue?"

We're still in the pub, right? Am I venting?