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1. The Odd Request

I know you say you love me,

You probably know what's best.

You're so pretty, I'm so ugly,

I feel I can't deny your request.

I don't mean to question smugly,

I gladly do all the rest.

I know I shouldn't let it bug me.

Okay, I'll poop on your chest.

2. Ode to Eileen

I wish you had a crazy switch.

I'd turn it on when we're in bed.

And I'd leave it off

All the rest of the time.

3. Final Attempt

I'm not a very good poet.

But I'm good at making rhyme.

Bob Dylan wrote a damn fine song,

But couldn't play in time.

Bobby needs a metronome,

I just need instruction.

The vacuum cleaner doesn't work,

It doesn't get the suction.

This is a terrible poem,

But it's just one verse.

I wrote one about chest poop,

So I guess it could be worse.