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Yes. That's what I meant. There will never be a day that you don't think about that event and replay it over and over, but at what point do you decide to start living again? Listen to me....drinking=living. Anyway, did you ever see the movie Murderball? Well, one of the all-star atheletes, whom they highlight quite a bit, became disabled because he was at a party and passed out in the bed of his buddies truck. His friend drove away later that night, completely intoxicated and crashed and he flew out of the bed of the truck into the ditch and lost the use of his legs. They show a bit of their relationship on the screen. Here you have at one end a guy VERY good at his sport and reasonably successful because of his disability - at the other is his friend who can never forgive himself. Really, I think these are questions that are so deep and personal and about nuance that there will never be a right answer.