If you got drunk, and while driving accidentally killed someone, would you be a person of poor conscience (or lack one entirely) if, after this event, you ever had a drink again?
We also talked about an analogy: If you shot someone in a hunting accident, should you never hunt again? I guess these questions are unanswerable, but they are worth asking, I think. For heroin kid, I'm going to ask them a lot of questions, and try to figure out their motivations. Heroin is not a drug to be taken lightly, and they are probably using other drugs already. I don't expect my kid to not do drugs because I disapprove. But I do hope that I can persuade them based on their concerns for their own well-being. I never met anyone that was doing heroin that was in a good place. I think all sorts of conversations would have to happen. Maybe take a trip with the kid to Alaska. The next day. Time to reevaluate and reconnect. As an aside: The legal BAC in Michigan is 0.08. It's actually quite easy to reach, and you needn't feel drunk. Two beers within an hour is enough for me. It's reckless and irresponsible to drive after drinking, but living in metro Detroit in particular, everything is far apart, there is no public transport, and taxis cannot be found on the streets. As a result, people make judgement calls, and sometimes they judge wrong. Just tonight we almost saw a pedestrian get hit by a driver that was probably sober. I have to imagine every year people get killed by people that aren't what anyone would call 'drunk', but yet they are over the legal limit. I wish there were some public transport in this town. It's weird that every night, bars close and people drive home, and a good portion of them are doing so illegally.
Heroin kid: I would talk to them. I would have a long, thoughtful discussion about why they want to try it (without getting outwardly angry). I would really want to know why they feel the need and what their expectations were of the drug. Then I would find someone that was a recovered junkie and invite them over to talk to them. That's my impulsive answer but you never know how you will handle such things until they are presented. Great questions though, both of them.
As for the Heroine, I would like to think that I would embrace the desire for experimentation from my child. I actually put my mother in this situation when I was young (not with heroine but other drugs and alcohol). She accepted that I would try these things regardless of her acceptance and thus let my sister and I do what we were going to do anyway at home. And I have to say in hind sight, she did the right thing. I feel like that experience led me to develop a better sense of self-control and judgement, because it really was up to me.