I think I have an important bit to add here. I must say I understand what you're saying and I've quite surely been there (of course ,I don't mean I know everything you're feeling exactly, but from what you're describing we have similar mindsets), and this is a very real, valid thought. But after a short while, especially after I really got deep into philosophy- particularly existentialism and things similar- I think I've climbed and now crossed All-This-Shit-Sucks Mountain.

A lot of my friends have been telling me that I am very easily amused nowadays. This may seem funny/stupid but in reality I think it's because I've become intensely appreciative of certain things. Details. Fleeting moments, a specific stroke in a painting or the eyes of a girl that meets mine. The smell of fresh air after the rain, and the saturated tone of a leaf sticking to the wet ground. A single note or riff in a song can send shivers down my spine, and people/things that are usually ugly at a first glance catch my attention and sometimes leave me staring. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's because I got high for the first time last month, and it was on a very concentrated form of dabs.

That helped, but it certainly isn't all it. I think it's easy to complain. It's easy to hate, it's easy to want to die. I'll be honest, we have every reason to die. But while you're living, while you're here, taking a moment to love and appreciate what you already love and appreciate really, really helps.

And from there, you can start to find other things to love as well. I love tricep muscles, piano key mechanisms, the intricacy of gothic cathederals, and girls in sweatpants. I guess what I'm saying is, find everything you love, not just one thing, and stick to that shit.