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insomniasexx  ·  4058 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Spin Cycles (Laundry Day)

This is really surreal and disorienting and I like that for some reason right now. It doesn't make a bit of sense to me but the it is nice.

My only recommendation would be to cut all the actions that don't circle around your key point - the spin cycle and how it relates to this crazy life and play with repetitions of sentences, structures, actions, etc even more. It would be a really fun and alarming experience if you could force the reader even deeper into this repetitive, cyclone.