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I have too many musical tools that I don't know well enough to use fluidly. So instead of creating music, I just think about it a lot. Play my guitar or bass unplugged. Every once in a while I will turn on a synth and try to lay down something, but quickly get frustrated at the tools, and shut it all down again. And when I went to take piano lessons, I didn't do the homework. I wouldn't make time for it. And I need to do these exercises and stretches to keep on top of my knee and wrist issues, but I don't make time for it, and don't do it. There's a pattern here of poor self care, and not supporting myself in the things I want to do. Self-defeating tendencies. At least I know that. Now to DO something about it...