Getting out I started college in 2009. That was the start of 'getting out' of my conservative fundamentalist family. Unwinding all the parts of that upbringing has taken me a decade and I'm not done yet. I learned that the earth is not 10-15,000 years old. My politics keep getting more left as I learn more about how people are treated. Growing up, between the constant admonishment that I need to deny myself to be a good christian and trying to avoid notice by the angry people in my home, I got pretty good at ignoring everything I needed and just doing what I was 'supposed to' do instead. I've spent this decade slowly learning how to listen to myself and what I need instead. Staying alive I'm doing alright now. I didn't think I'd make it through high school, and I didn't think I'd finish my undergrad degree, and I definitely didn't think I'd survive grad school. So I'm a bit surprised to still be here and even more surprised that I don't have that sword hanging over my head anymore. Obviously, I still have difficult days — those paths in my brain are well-worn and familiar; I can't just suddenly never feel that way again. But, it's less and less bad now. Family now In 2009 my relationship with my parents was bad. Then I got married, which didn't help things. It still isn't good now. When I left, I didn't trust them and they didn't respect me. Nothing about that really changed over the years. The past year-ish, I've tried to trust them, to put in the work to help fix up our relationship; even after that, I still don't trust them and they still don't respect me. They're the kind of people who will tell you to your face "we respect you!" and "we're so sorry you've felt disrespected by us in the past" but little changes. Then again, they'll tell you they love gay people but also gay people are going to hell and can't see why those two views might be contradictory. More positively I'm lucky to have gotten married and had someone to support me and for me to support through our various adventures this decade. Also, 2030 I spent most of last decade learning how to take care of myself. I want to spend the next decade learning how to take care of others. Also, I'd like to not spend it all in this town. That one may not happen, but I can hope.