I got a smiley face. Maaaaaaan, getting smiley faces on papers is the bombest shit. That's one hell of a validation you're on the right track. Congrats and good luck, that whole situation is fucking awesome. Are those headaches a norm for you?It wasn't much of a surprise for me to notice that I already like more people here than from my own year. No-one says shit about me behind my back, my comments aren't met with sighs and groans, and people don't assume that I'm asking more complex questions "to show off" or "waste everyone's time on purpose" but because it's fucking interesting and I want to know the answer. ... Yesterday we got our results back. It was a tense moment broken by seeing both grade and the type of grade.
I still remember getting a "nice job" when getting an exam back in my first engineering class. That was probably 16 years ago.
Ah, the joys of a smiley face. I'm a mere peon, but I wouldn't discount stress as a factor. I get the impression growing up with so many tests done on your body to ensure your safety can be a bit overwhelming? Though, that's beside the point.... stress could just as well build over time, doesn't have to be one event. ๐ On the other hand, (again, peon typing here) sensory overload sounds plausible and worth looking into with EMDR The therapists I worked alongside last weekend always rave about the ๐wonders๐(^tm) of EMDR. Fuck... maybe it was something with brain-mapping... I'll have to look back.
The troubles of typing in a stream-of-conscious format without review. Meant the "getting so many tests" segment to be a separate thought, rather than projecting my own problems onto you. Guess that's how it seemed anyways. That strikes one possibility off the list, then! The car crash on the other hand, that wasn't recent, correct? You're all well and good without any persisting troubles? Truthfully, I've had similar experiences. And some shitty ones at that. Though, there have been two gems that have done wonders in terms of both learning about and shifting who I am and how I view myself (for the better, thankfully). Can't speak much to having similar school experiences, but the same idea sadly persists in terms of getting bullied is OK, yet self-defense isn't. Oye! That is a cost. Well, at least you've looked and decided what's not for you. That ain't psychosomatic or my brain is a bigger arsehole than I am.
LOL.I'll look it up, but in my experience, psychiatrists, psychologists and therapists are unskilled money sponges that will latch to anything that you give them and try to convince you to agree with their first impression.
Not an issue, re: responding. I can't say I remembered this topic. Good to know nothing lasting, though I'd be curious to see if nothing comes out of it in the future - i.e. traumas. Seriously, good on you. On this end, good luck... I can't fathom people who can do this and succeed in earnest. Because the nature of human progress isn't individualistic, I haven't seen a single case of "I worked through my shit all on my own and it worked" in the years and hundreds of faces I've seen come through the therapy workshop I've worked at. I can only go so far about learning about how and why I act. Creating meaningful change around that requires human compassion, comfort, and connection. Let me take you on a journey through a little something called imago, steeped in Adlerian psych. My best analogy is my baby brain was a blank slate. I will grew into adolescence and young adulthood while interacting with the outside world - mainly people, to start, my family. People interacting with me provided experiences that beget impressions on my brain that dictated how I interact with the world moving forward. Bear with me, this sounds banal, basic psychology so far, I know. The Clincher: where the impressions made by others earlier on are core to the manifestation of my own, your own, relationships AND my/your perception of them. These relationships will mirror whatever experiences my blank slate of a brain latched onto because that's what my brain recognizes as it's truth in way is sees the world. I will attract and seek out (consciously or not) people to play the roles of those I interacted with in my childhood moving into my adult life, relationships (romantic and not), and to my grave. A Way Out: Not logick'ing it. I'll tell you that much. Until 1. I am willing to do the work to undo these impressions/heal 2. someone willing to hold space for the others' wound nothing will happen. Working on healing parts of psyche on your own is as effective as having a conversation with a wall. It's people and our relationships that made impressions on us, so people and relationships are what can relieve the impact of those impressions under the right conditions. After which, I can move on in life, seeking out healthier relationships alongside attracting them as well. I'd like to go into more detail to provide better context, but I don't have the time since I have a class soon. That said, I'll leave this model that's a TL;DR: Event/Experience -> Feeling -> Belief -> Action -> Event/Experience ->.... Now imagine this being a circle. . . Man this is harder to explain through text, but the point is the brain creates a positive feedback loop for self-validating beliefs. In a completely related, completely ironic quote I don't endorse: "Break the cycle Morty, rise above, focus on science." Also, tagging ThatFanficGuy. I know we've delved into relationships before with regard to non-violent communication. The theory here is different, more along the lines of shifting self with relation to others whereas NVC is navigating it with others.I'm beginning to pinpoint some of the issues that I have
and try to work through them myself.
I was told that it looked that much scarier and alien.
-> when I'll get angry I get really angry.
-> People rarely like me, that's something I grew to accept.
-> Plus I'm crazily fit and much stronger than I look [I work out a lot]
-> [Insert some message about being alien or other]... cough