When my parents' cat died, my father spent three days building a coffin by hand and preparing for burial.

My father was not raised in an emotive household and he is from a generation where men do not show emotions. He was in the military, to boot.

I could not understand his elaborate mourning process for the cat. I gave him space and respected it but could not understand it.

When I expressed my feelings to my brother privately, he paused, then said, "I think...Think about it, ref. This is not about the cat, not just the cat. This is a rare moment where he is allowed to express his feelings and it's justified and I think what's happening right now is that he is expressing a lot of other feelings that haven't been able to come out. Sure, Walter is dead, but we've moved out. Dad's past 50. He's not young anymore and all the things he thought he'd be and that he wished for...When a thing dies, you can't help but think back on the past, about everything else you've ever lost. That's what this is about for Dad."

Yeah it sucks to be too emotionally unavailable to mourn a loss when it occurs. But I think it is better to eventually find a space and way to mourn them, than never mourn them at all.

I posted a sad link the other day called "Last Photograph of Cat." I do not know if reading it will help you, and it certainly makes me cry, but I wanted to mention it as relevant.