I've read about existential anxiety recently, and it resonated with me greatly. It's a feeling of dread with which you encounter things that you could have done that terrify you. I remember panicking as a child, standing on the balcony and looking over the edge of the window, three stories down; and being terrified that I might fall down, despite the balcony frame staying aguard to my equilibrium. Human beings are like that. We're terrified of becoming something - of the possibility of being something - that we can't even fathom, that we can't relate to. So, how do we get over it?People want to believe they are good and compassionate people so they dehumanize the addict. Just like how we dehumanize Hitler to avoid accepting that humans are capable of evil.
There's something called pure-o ocd (the name makes no sense because they named it before they understood it) where people have a thought they don't like and they end up obsessing over it thinking these thoughts are desires when really they are just thoughts. Thats the quick explanation at least. I don't think this is common, however most mental illnesses like anxiety have a normal emotional response/trait that has been brought to an extreme. There's nervousness and then there's anxiety disorders, shyness and then social anxiety, sadness and then depression, anger and then anger problems, liking yourself and then narcissism. So I'm not talking about people with that disorder however I do believe people are capable of experiencing this "phenomenon" to a lesser extent. It's common for people to try and bury these thoughts for fear of what people will think which actually makes it worse. It's important for people to understand that they are just thoughts and not desires. Just because somebody has thoughts of themself dying by accident or on purpose ( steering the car off the road for example) doesn't mean they actually desire these things. For somebody with a disorder it's hard to overcome and it normally manifests in people who are being made to suppress certain things. I knew somebody who although it was illogical was horrified of the idea of being gay. He didn't even dislike gay people and he obviously wasn't gay but his father was so homophobic that being that way terrified him. He didn't have this disorder as it didn't stop him from living life however it was certainly something he had to work through. I imagine somebody who has been in an environment where people say degrading things about addicts and how horrible they are might find themselves in a position where they fear becoming that as my friend feared being gay. Even though that person might might not think the same way about addicts or in my friends case gay people it still affects them. I typed that all out because one of the ways to deal with that is to understand it. It's important to understand when these are thoughts as opposed to desires.
That's an interesting point. I used to be terrified of the idea of being a narcissist because I was terrified of what they did to me in the past; I kept noticing in myself little things that at the time may or may not have been exactly healthy, and each such a detail made me more and more anxious. I feel like you're spot-on about addicts: now that you've mentioned I remember never hearing a single word of compassion spoken of the heroin addicts who've lived in the neighbourhood or, in my grandma's situation, right in her house (I wanted to say "подъезд" but could find no corresponding word in English; elizabeth, I hate to bother you, but - do you know any, by chance?). My parents and grandparents always looked down at such people, and our law enforcement kept drilling into our young heads the idea that's perfectly expressed with the title of this post. It was always the good-looking and the well-mannered that deserved helping.I imagine somebody who has been in an environment where people say degrading things about addicts and how horrible they are might find themselves in a position where they fear becoming that as my friend feared being gay.
подъезд is sort of the lobby (entry?) of them communist apartment blocks. In the us, i'd compare it to the rent-controlled community buildings. The подъезд is usually full of graffiti, sometimes smells like piss and teenagers hang out there. Grandmas are not too far away gossiping about who left and entered the подъезд at what time: always useful when you need to know if someone's home, not so useful if you're cheating on your husband. There's probably no literal translation but from my experience, that's the gist of it. There are better and worst подъездs'. Some are not too bad, some have a special reputation.
My issue with any sort of narcotics is that it makes you into a person with less control over yourself. Perhaps I'm wrong - especially after seeing cgod's comment in the thread - but I feel like using drugs will rob me of the reasoning skills and the willpower I so treasure (for I don't constitute a lot of them), and I very much would rather avoid it. Like I mentioned, I have some experience with addiction, and it's... unpleasant already.
I highly recommend this podcast for you: https://gimletmedia.com/episode/44-shine-on-you-crazy-goldman/ The psychonauts I know have way, way more control over themselves then just about anyone else I know. The ability to handle your brain radically changing normal function, and not only handle it but derive something of value, takes incredible strength of self and is not to be belittled. Then don't. No one is making you. But if you aren't willing to take the risk you probably shouldn't pass judgement on those who do, because it's something you don't understand. Most worthwhile experiences in life come with risks, its your call if those risks are worth it for you. Setting an arbitrary barrier on what you allow yourself to experience seems to me to limit personal growth, not advance it. You are going to change. You're reasoning and willpower are subjected to a million external influences anyway, hunger, tiredness, how much sunshine you've gotten. Who you are will be shaped by what you experience, like it or not. The only choice you have is what those experiences will be.My issue with any sort of narcotics is that it makes you into a person with less control over yourself.
but I feel like using drugs will rob me of the reasoning skills and the willpower I so treasure
Thank you for the link. I'll listen to this podcast with interest. People you know aren't me, and I know myself better than you do, so please, don't pass judgement of your own onto me. I'm not telling anyone what to do or not to do, nor am I pretending to be pushed by someone to do something when I'm not. I hope I'm expressing the general sentiment of many humans of all nations towards narcotics and their users and/or abusers, and I hope to figure this whole thing out or even catch a glimpse of understanding before it collapses into "drugs are good vs. drugs are bad" or "do drugs or miss out", which it seems to be going. Morality is an arbitrary barrier, and yet humanity prospers through using it rather than stagnates. Barriers are all of different kinds, just like narcotics or the ways of using them. I'd rather not experience diminishing selfishness, even if it limits my capabilities somehow. In the same way, I'd rather not take narcotics of any sort, for a number of reasons, all of which are important to me (and go along and beyond the issues of control); I'm not going into those reasons because it's not the point of this discussion, but I might want to discuss it with Hubskiers later on.Setting an arbitrary barrier on what you allow yourself to experience seems to me to limit personal growth, not advance it.
Do you often worry about losing control over yourself ? The thing is many people might decide they aren't interested in some drugs and that's perfectly fine but to actually fear becoming an addict when you have no intention of doing drugs is a bit more confusing. Sometimes we fear being something society or close family looks down upon because we fixate on getting their approval.