Are all terrible parents terrible people?or my parents were terrible parents (equals "are terrible people")
Of course not. Some terrible parents are good people who make terrible mistakes while trying to be good parents (think cults) or who do things that the kids perceive as terrible. Are parents terrible because they beat their kids when they behave badly. Or are they good parents trying to discipline their kids? It depends on whether you believe that hitting kids is wrong. My daughter thinks I'm a terrible mother right now because of something I did on Tuesday. Parents and kids do and think things for different reasons and we don't always see it from one another's point of view. Some parents though are both terrible people and terrible parents.
I'm sorry that your daughter is feeling that way about you. This must be very difficult to realize. Is there any validity in her perception of the situation? Is this a minor blip or a rift? I hope it's just a blip. I had a long conversation with my mom and dad this morning. It was nice, I gained some real insight in to my childhood and early years.
This Be The Verse They fuck you up, your mom and dad
They may not mean to, but they do
They fill you with the faults they had
and add some extra, just for you But they were fucked up in their turn
by fools in old-style hats and coats
who half the time were soppy stern
and half at one another's throats
- philip larkin man hands on misery to man
it deepens like a coastal shelf
get out as early as you can
and don't have any kids yourself.