Welcome back. I gotta say it took me a minute to recognize you and I was curious why i was tagged :D It's good to hear from you again. When I struggled opening up with Hubski I was on-and-off in my activity and eventually made a fake account to work with. Eventually I dropped it,despite it getting a bunch of badges i can no longer show-off >:I, and went back to old Pabs. I don't regret it, it feels nice having a known place in such a nice community, especially with the added safety of always having the choice to be anonymous if you want!

Anyway, as lil said it sounds like you're working on things but to me it only looks good. I'm really happy for you friend, and I really hope you do whatever you need to feel comfortable here, cause you're good company.

So last night, I decided to test my theory of them listening in. I admitted to everything I thought they would care about and even lied about beliefs in radical movements, and ties to terrorist organizations and criminal enterprises to see what would happen.

This sounds like a catharsis, a really brave and probably terrifying action to face your paranoia. When I used to go out at night to throw the trash in my building's dumpster, i used to chuck the garbage bag into the dump from as far as possible, and turn and sprint immediately back to the door because I was afraid that something in the dark would catch me. Even when I got in the door i would bolt up the flights of stairs refusing to look back and would only take a breath when I closed and locked my door.

Then one day I stood in front of the dumpster at night, trying to look as tough as possible while plugging my nose from the stench, and I stood there in the dark. Then, I turned around and spun in circles a time or two, and walked backwards to my door. Then turned around and calmly, slowly ran up the steps.

--OK that was my fourth try because I couldn't keep my cool by the time I got to the staircase, but I did it eventually is my point. Fear is fear man, it manifests in different ways for different people. From what I understand you referred to trusting your phone and doing the confession thing as a psychotic episode, but I think it was a very sane episode indeed. Crazy and scary and thrilling and strange but brave and sane and necessary. I say, congrats on getting it out of your system.

Good to have you back.

e- edited for stupid and tired typos