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comment by ghostoffuffle
ghostoffuffle  ·  3726 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 17, 2014

I prefer your read of the situation to mine- I defaulted straight to "this guy wants to take my car and/or murder me." I could think of literally no other reason a stranger would be that intent on getting into my passenger seat with no clear itinerary or obvious motivation to go wherever. And still... it was hard to say no. Anyhow, retrospect, he probably just wanted a chance at the iPhone I had plugged into the aux input or what have you. Or hell, maybe he just wanted to get out of my neighborhood as desperately as I do.

The whole experience- and similar ones I've had- just made me angry. I like to believe in the power of good community and faith in fellow man and charitable acts, and situations like that sort of destroy the illusion. I was mad at him for messing with my idea of trustworthy environments and interactions, and I was mad at myself alternately for basing my worldview on a naivete born of a life of sheltered privilege, and then also for abandoning that worldview in the face of such an innocuous interaction. Whole thing just put me in a position where I had to question my community, my idea of community and my trust in the power of community. Cognitive dissonance is bad enough- cognitive dissonance in relation to faith in good values is downright soul-crushing.





kleinbl00  ·  3726 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    The whole experience- and similar ones I've had- just made me angry. I like to believe in the power of good community and faith in fellow man and charitable acts, and situations like that sort of destroy the illusion.

You were angry because you fundamentally trust people and he violated that trust. You fundamentally trust people because very few people violate it. Would it surprise you to learn that most people fundamentally trust which is why society works? This is why cheats and the like are shunned - you were witnessing your own little piece of societal breakdown.

That is why you were still polite: you're hardwired to be helpful and friendly to others who are helpful and friendly. I could list off a shelf-full of books describing why humans trust each other and the clinical tests that prove it.

What this means: don't abandon your worldview. Recognize that it was tested and that the responses garnered were 100% appropriate and that's what makes the world go round.