"Speak only when it improves upon the silence." - Mahatma Gandhi You're asking the wrong question. You're asking "am I a pussy when my friends tell me to mix it up over Palestine and I don't want to?" This is a simple answer. No. The question you want to ask is "How can I get my friends to leave me alone on 'issue X' without offending them?" Different question. Your best move is to come up with a concise answer for yourself as to why you don't want to get involved. If you can write it on a matchbook it's short enough. I might start with "these are my friends on Facebook and I don't want to publicly pick sides in a dispute that is unfortunate, complex, and utterly without winners." You might go with "nothing anyone says is going to accomplish anything other than making everyone angrier, and there's more than enough anger already." You might say "I think the last thing my Feed needs is gasoline for the fire." Did you know that you can "ignore" someone on Facebook without unfriending them? That is how my sister-in-law and I can avoid fisticuffs. Don't tell her I said so.
Yes, the Restricted list? That is how I manage family friends and adults so that I can avoid showing them who I really am. Glorious. Writing that in first thing when my new journal ships. Lost my old one, god damn it.
Now, Let me put it this way before I render completely incapable of articulation: My question is whether or not the aforementioned stance on confrontation makes me a pussy. It is not wondering whether or not my friends think I'm a pussy and how I should talk to them about it. ja feel?Did you know that you can "ignore" someone on Facebook without unfriending them? That is how my sister-in-law and I can avoid fisticuffs.
"Speak only when it improves upon the silence."
- Mahatma Gandhi
"How can I get my friends to leave me alone on 'issue X' without offending them?"
isn't actually my concern. Facebook is an example here, I'm not having a teenage cyber-social crisis where my friends are pressuring me and I wear a bag over my head to school, I'm having a teenage character crisis where I'm pressuring myself to make my life as happy as possible while damaging as little as possible around me. It is very much an in-person situation as well to be clear, and managing my friends isn't the crux of the problem so much as managing myself is. That said, the last thing my Feed needs certainly is "more gasoline," luckily I have very understanding and relatively intelligent friends who I don't have a problem dealing with.
Got it. So the real question is "what makes a pussy?" The answer is "you do." If you are keeping your mouth shut because you think your friends want you to keep your mouth shut but you really want to say something - you are a pussy. If you are snarking and picking fights because you think your friends want you to pick fights but you'd really rather sit it out - you are a pussy. Most kids don't realize this until they're 30 or so. The reality of the situation is that you know a thousand times as much about yourself as your friends do. You care a thousand times as much about yourself as your friends do. Their only way to really know where you stand is to test your limits. Push your buttons. See if they can spin you up. If they can? You are less than them. If they can't? Well, they'll try harder. Until they hit the point where they determine that your stones are bigger than theirs. That's the nature of pecking order. That's the nature of "being a pussy." Know how The Fonz could make anything cool? Could show up in a bathrobe and suddenly bathrobes were the thing to wear? Obviously The Fonz is a fictional character, but the nature of "cool" is following your own path for your own reasons and being invulnerable to the doubts and assaults of those around you. To be a pussy is to knuckle under in the face of adversity. To be a pussy is to not fight battles you can win. But to be a pussy is to fight battles because it is expected of you, because it's the easy way out, because it gives your friends and peers a way to shunt you down the pecking order. Your friends will think you're a pussy if you think you're a pussy. If you have the belief in your convictions to say "I'm not getting into it because I don't want to" and make it stick, your friends will know you as the badass you truly are.
point taken -- ref - by the way, originally nwpabs did not use the word "pussy" - only the word "weak." I think this is worth noting -- because while "pussy" is a more powerful word in a male world, it makes no sense in my world. You tell me not to be a pussy, and I'll say "meow." I'm sure noway's on-line friends cover all genders. Nonetheless, I loved the "thrust" of kb's arguments.
When a guy calls his bro a "pussy" he is not calling him a slang term for a fucking 16th century word no one knows. Nor is he calling him a cat because apparently cats have some notoriety for being cowardly? In the context of modern society it is incredibly self-evident what someone means when they call someone a "pussy" and it is so obviously a gendered insult I cannot believe people still bring this up. Also as if you really needed more evidence against it: pusillanimous is an adjective and pussy is used as a noun in every case I've ever heard it. That seems a little odd if it were shorthand, doesn't it? It's always said, "that guy is a pussy" not, "that guy is pussy". I realize this is coming off a little sharply, but you would not believe how much I see this used as a dismissal of a bigger problem.
That definitely could be one of the origins of the word's current use. . . along with several others. While pusillanimous is an excellent word meaning timid, it originates in the Latin word pussilus meaning very small. When a guy is called a pussy, he is being called very small. Given the word has so many meanings including kittenish, nowaypablo's original use of the word "weak" unambiguously expressed his meaning.
Well then, color me uterus. Case closed everybody, see you next week.
Jeff: Listen. It doesn’t matter. You lose the jacket to please them, you keep it to piss them off. Either way, it’s for them. That’s what’s weak. Troy: People have been clowning me about this jacket since I got here, but if I take it off to make them happy, that just makes me weak, right?
Man I tried community like twice and never really clicked. I never started from season 1/pilot though. I may just give it another try! thanks:)
No way pablo!!!! if you don't watch all of Community, we can't be friends. (That's not true but it's brilliant and clever, at least most of it is, and you would probably enjoy it, and so would the rest of Hubski, and also I answered the question of "What makes a pussy" flippantly down below but you'll chuckle at it so peruse the damn thread.)
I laughed at work, fuck you/thank you, that was on point.
Hm, If you are snarking and picking fights because you think your friends want you to pick fights but you'd really rather sit it out - you are a pussy man I still don't think these are it. Also I don't agree that not fighting battles you can win is pussy-esque, I think you prove the mass of your cojones when you fight battles that you may not win, or aren't expected to win... and win. But I wouldn't always feel comfortable engaging a situation where "pick on someone your own size" may apply. The knuckling under adversity bit is absolutely true, and although I really don't want to and less still do I care about keeping rank in the pecking order, you're most likely on point in what would put me on top or below. Okay so I think we've narrowed it down to the question of "what makes a pussy" as you said, but now that I think about I think lil said it best at the mention of choosing your battles. By keeping my mouth shut, I'm effectively engaging in choosing my battles, i.e. not choosing these ones in particular. My concern therefore is whether or not choosing my battles wherein I virtually choose to not partake in battles, makes me [weak] or not. The reason I would choose to not partake in any of them is because of the examples I gave in the OP, where nobody is actually listening to each other for some sort of conclusion to be made, whether its a win or loss for either party-- thus, both sides end up losing and so does their relationship.If you are keeping your mouth shut because you think your friends want you to keep your mouth shut but you really want to say something - you are a pussy.
galen has the right of it. We're circling around the same subject, I think I just see it more universally than you do. For example, I said: You reduced that down to You're looking at actions. I'm looking at intent. Galen boiled it down to two snappy lines of dialog; it's not what you're fighting, it's why you're fighting. And no matter the reason, if it aligns with your internal compass you're showing inner strength. Might be wrong, might be evil, might be misguided... but ain't nobody gonna call you weak. "Choosing your battles" is a much more Machiavellian concern. Absolutely: some fights aren't worth fighting. But that's a different consideration than "why you must fight them." It's like this: Right. But when you say it like "nobody's listening to each other, thus both sides end up losing" you're making your reasoning external. People are calling your judgement into question because you are making judgements about external factors. If instead you say it like "I'm not going to add my voice to an already-pointless conversation" you've taken a stand. Same statement? Yep. Absolutely. Same justification? Got it in one. Different context? Just different enough. That's the thing - sometimes it's about nuance. And the nuance here is "I have made a judgement for myself and you're not swaying me."To be a pussy is to knuckle under in the face of adversity. To be a pussy is to not fight battles you can win. But to be a pussy is to fight battles because it is expected of you, because it's the easy way out, because it gives your friends and peers a way to shunt you down the pecking order.
I don't agree that not fighting battles you can win is pussy-esque, I think you prove the mass of your cojones when you fight battles that you may not win, or aren't expected to win... and win.
The reason I would choose to not partake in any of them is because of the examples I gave in the OP, where nobody is actually listening to each other for some sort of conclusion to be made, whether its a win or loss for either party-- thus, both sides end up losing and so does their relationship.
Modern Family was great to watch with my mom for like two seasons stretching it. With Donald Glover and the rest in community I think I'm going to give it a proper chance too.
I somehow made the same connection between the two shows and never watched either. Community has received so much praise on Hubski that I think it warrants a shot. Imagunna check it out.
We should unite the community noobs somehow, it seems like there's a good bunch of us about to start. Tv sit-com club?
I'm on episode 2 season 1. It's already hilarious. kleinbl00 the pilot is an ode to John Hughes that I think you'd appreciate
I just watched one of the latest episodes on Hulu. It's D&D themed, I was laughing to the point of a maniacal cackle. Where are you watching early episodes?
Ok, breakthrough. and I get what you and galen mean in regards to the why, though I was obviously thinking of the actual actions themselves primarily, as the conflict lies in communication between these people and myself.. anyway, I think I got you. This helps, thanks.Right. But when you say it like "nobody's listening to each other, thus both sides end up losing" you're making your reasoning external. People are calling your judgement into question because you are making judgements about external factors. If instead you say it like "I'm not going to add my voice to an already-pointless conversation" you've taken a stand.
Choose your battles. Choose where and how you want to spend your intellectual and emotional energy. You are well on your way to figuring out what is worth doing, saying, or writing. You realized that engaging in arguments about polarizing topics based on insufficient information and selective statistics is not the best use of your time. When you do speak up on a topic, your frenemies will know that it is something you feel strongly about. . . . and everything kb said.My question is whether or not the aforementioned stance on confrontation makes me [weak].
Choose your battles. point taken, thank you, and pardon my vulgarity. It's a Jersey thing.When you do speak up on a topic, your frenemies will know that it is something you feel strongly about.