I can't help but think that something would get sacrificed in that process - no, you shouldn't basically throw the kid out in there like a sort of rejected Spartan baby left to die on a mountain, but at least for my part my parents coddled the fuck out of me in some ways and I've had to make up for it when I realized that it had a negative impact on me. So I guess in this case it's a good idea to intervene if your kid is coming home with a persistent serious problem, but there's some kind of teachable moment in your kid dealing with it to a lesser extent. It's never too early to get a little practice dealing with assholes (although with preparation). I'm also fairly sure parents want to minimize the amount of self-parenting their child has to do. How would you respond if your son grew up and asked, 'Dad, what the heck was the deal with being all weird about dolls and shit? I liked those.'But the temptation is to instead shield him/her from as many sources of external criticism as possible.
Not "would get sacrificed" -- does get sacrificed. All kinds of literature on Tiger Moms, What America Needs From Its Parents, blah blah. And I believe that's about the biggest mistake there is. I know several actual parents on hubski feel the same way -- actually the #parenting tag has some of my favorite discussions. But if you let your son play with dolls the odds are just stacked against him ... maybe that's realistic, maybe it's cruel. Two sides of the same coin. I would never deny my children the chance to experience something solely on the basis of gender. The bias I am trying to get over is rather: deliberately exposing them to toys that have traditional gender identities. So your hypothetical would never occur -- else children would be asking their parents that every day. I never asked my father about dolls when I grew up because we never discussed them when I was young.I'm also fairly sure parents want to minimize the amount of self-parenting their child has to do.
How would you respond if your son grew up and asked, 'Dad, what the heck was the deal with being all weird about dolls and shit? I liked those.'
I had a doll that I took everywhere when I was a little kid. I don't think I'm any the worse for it. Turned out straight, not that it matters that much. I think I was born to be a sensitive and empathetic person, and that's all that was reflected in me carrying around a doll for a while. Maybe sensitive and empathetic are generally more feminine, but certainly they're not exclusively so. I'm still a pretty good athlete, after all, still playing hockey and keeping up with 21 years olds at my age. The doll didn't kill my testosterone.
But why perpetuate the problem? Also, not deliberately exposing your son to dolls doesn't mean he never will be. What if he plays with a female friend whose parents do let her play with dolls of some kind in addition to Legos and action figures and all sorts of 'gender-neutral' or stereotypically gendered and he thinks it's fun? The odds are only stacked against him because you let them be. But if you let your son play with dolls the odds are just stacked against him