Spot on. It also doesn't help when 'hot' is 5'5, fit as a fiddle, blonde, blue eyed, smart as hell, compassionate and funny.
I guess I can't blame you for picking the devil you know, but you know. It's kind of fun to go for the devil you don't. Besides, don't let people treat you like crap. That includes you. See, isn't this fun? My original post was twice as long but I edited all the stories out.
Still working on that bit. My therapist and I have diverged a bit from our original discussions, because we came up with some good coping skills for bigger problems. (Existential risk, total political immorality, Neo-Luddism) But he's directed me to some interesting reading that indicates that a person can't have a healthy relationship without first loving themselves, and I don't think I ever had that to begin with. When I started working out I used self-loathing as my motivation (Still do somewhat, work in progress) but that doesn't work well, or for long.That includes you.